Emptying the grains of a packet of aromatic dark Costa
Rican coffee into an airtight container earlier today, in my mind's eye I suddenly saw my
maternal grandmother standing in front of me making the same motions of cutting
open a packet and emptying the coffee grains into a container (the very same
one I was using) so many times, so many years ago. That memory then took me to the next one of that sunlit
living room where she, my aunt, and I would sit drinking that coffee at
breakfast in delicate Meissen cups (whenever I was visiting) at a
Biedermeier-like table that stood gracefully on a pale blue Persian rug, all of
which were left to me when the two departed. Lush green ferns, large floor
vases, multiple photographs of the living and dead in silver frames, and overstuffed
heavy bookcases gave the room its character, much as similar plants, vases, photographs,
and book cases are found in mine, so many years later.
The
memory brought the hot gush of tears to my eyes. Suddenly. For no particular
reason. I loved my grandmother, but I have no particular sadness connected to
her death, when I was already in my 30's, mother of three children. She died of
old age. Her life had been a good one, albeit with many difficult chapters. She
and my aunt brought great joy to me - especially to my younger self - and
the memories I have of them both from that period of my own life are rich and
joyful, with an element of lushness and mystery.
My other grandmother, while
very loving and sweet, simply could not be compared because we never communicated at that level,
despite living closer to me geographically for a time, and further, she died
when I was only 13, so the memories were less fixed.
But this grandmother, who
wafted into my thoughts this morning thanks to that aromatic dark coffee - still in its packet
- had a significant impact on my life. She introduced me to new
ideas; I might say to ideas that were not the ideas that were discussed in my
parents' home (which was quite eclectic). While my parents spoke of ideas and
read books that dealt with so many of life's mysteries, and that fascinated me
- and continue to fascinate me - endlessly, my grandmother showed me the rich
world of mundane life. The stories she shared with me of her own pre-World War II
history in Prussia were the stuff Rosamunde Pilcher and Maeve Binchy books are
made of - except, of course, what she related, had really happened to her.
She
- my grandmother - as well as my aunt added an element of historical opulence,
or sumptuous thinking - none of which really had anything to do with material
wealth - to my psychological inner world that I might not have seen and
appreciated had I not been able to enjoy this close contact with them, despite
living in different continents in pre-digital days. They weren't even good letter writers. And yet, we forged this connection. I write this in gratitude.
Image: My grandmother is the far left in the front row. My aunt is at her knee. My mother is the dark haired little girl in the front row at my great-aunt's knee.
Image: My grandmother is the far left in the front row. My aunt is at her knee. My mother is the dark haired little girl in the front row at my great-aunt's knee.
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