"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Monday, May 30, 2016

Do You Really Have to Blame Someone?

All those things that happen to you in life that in some way don't entirely depend on you with regards to their outcome, are things you may often decide to blame on others. Is this of benefit? Take a look:
  • My mother wasn't affectionate, so now I have trouble with my relationships
  • My teacher didn't recognize that I was creative, so I never had the chance to develop my art
  • I was never given the opportunity to travel, so I don't have the advantages that others who traveled when they were young, do
  • He was talking on his mobile so that is why he crashed into my car
  • My husband always wanted to watch football on Sundays with his buddies, so I had to find someone who would pay more attention to me
  • I didn't get a scholarship to an Ivy League university because my high school counselor didn't help me enough
Recognize any of the above? Sound familiar?

All of it could be true. All of it can happen. A lot of it really does happen, and of course it has consequences.

But, if you choose to blame someone - anyone - for why you are not where you would like to be in whatever it is you would like in your life, you are abdicating responsibility for your life. And if you abdicate responsibility for your life, you have no control over your life.

So let's look at that more carefully. You have control over your life if and when you choose how you react to events, and if and when you choose what you can do about things that have happened in the past. You can't, of course, change what happened, but you can change how you think about them and how you deal with their consequences now.

Clearly, you have no control:
  • over other people's actions
  • over other people's feelings
  • over other people's reactions
  • over other people's words
  • over how you were raised
  • over anything at all that is external to yourself
But you do have - if you choose - control over all of your own actions, feelings, reactions, words, etc. And so you can rid yourself of the poison that is blame, and by taking responsiblity for how you feel, react, act, and speak, you take control in a way that gives you enormous freedom.

See also Grow in Richness, Stop the Blaming


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... AHORA en todo el mundo en Amazon (versión bolsillo y Kindle)

Note: My other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. I generally post in each of these two blogs once a week. 

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