"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Could You Just Act Instead of React?

Do your buttons get pushed sometimes? If you're like most of us, it happens. But what you do then is much more important than the fact that (as you might be thinking) you are still at a place in your life where your buttons get pushed.

One possibility is that you react blindly. Your buttons got pushed and whoosh! You pounce. Not so good. Another possibility is that you have learned to count to 10 to keep your anger or other strong emotions at bay and only then react, probably in a much less explosive fashion. Much better. Finally, a third possibility is that you have become aware of yourself. Therefore when your buttons get pushed (assuming they still do), you are aware of the fact that they just got pushed, and your first inclination to pounce is immediately moderated by self-dialogue that reminds you that you actually wish to be the one who decides what emotions you will feel, and how you then react. So you first look for a place of inner calm. A mindfulness practice can bring you a long way towards this goal. Once you're in that inner place of equilibrium, balance, calm, harmony, and only then, do you decide what you will do. George Bernard Shaw once wrote: the possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.

So now you may decide that a question of unhealthy boundaries has been raised by what just occurred between you and the other person, and so you choose to say something about that - in a way that for you will be a healthy and self-loving form of expression - in your quest to establish healthier boundaries in your life.

Or perhaps the buttons that were pushed - assuming you are going down the 'aware' route, have caused you to come to the realization (in that moment of self-reflection where you dialogue with yourself, indicating that you want to be, as said, the one who decides what you feel and how you react), that perhaps you need to look at yourself with regards to how quickly you become jealous, or suspicious, or possessive, etc. Therefore, what you now do will be focused on a healthy and self-loving manner of growth for yourself, in not only how you now speak with the other person, but also in what you do from now on, in order to grow forward from that point at which you have discovered your life to be at with regards to jealousy, etc.

So you can see, by these simple examples, how acting, and not reacting, does in fact, bring you along a much greater path of pregression in your life. It requires awareness - as does so much else - and it requires that you choose to do this.


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhältlich 

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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