When you finally go
out to buy that product you’ve seen touted in magazine ads and TV
commercials, or perhaps a friend has
also recommended it, you actually go buy it because – or so our marketers tell
us – you’ve seen it or heard about it a minimum of nine times. It’s a bit like
that when you decide to make changes in your life: you may see the value of
doing so when you read an article or a friend tells you, but very possibly you
don’t in fact do so until you’ve heard or read about it quite a few times. That
is why today I am writing yet another article about happiness … the elusiveness of happiness.
Here are some of the
main ingredients you will need in order to change your life from continually
pursuing happiness and not reaching it, to a life where happiness simply is:
Loving Yourself: This is essential. Without this, nothing else
will fall into place. And please, it’s not
about taking long baths with scented candles scattered around the tub (although
that is a great thing to do). What loving yourself is about is the recognition
that while you are not in a place of good inner well-being, you are neglecting to do something that shows
you that you love yourself. It means that you can choose to take yourself to a
better inner place at all times, no
matter what the circumstances.
Read also:
Developing Good Boundaries: This is also essential. How can you possibly be
happy as long as your boundaries continue to be transgressed by others? How can
you possibly be happy as long as you allow
your boundaries to continue to be transgressed by others? Working on having
good boundaries shows the inner self that you love it. So this one goes hand in
hand with the first point.
Read also:
Being Responsible for Yourself: So often people tell me they hate this. If you
become responsible for yourself, you can no longer blame anyone or anything.
Your external circumstances – no matter how apparently
difficult they are – do not mean that you should blame them for how terrible
you feel. How you feel is your
responsibility. Full stop. What you do – at all times – is your responsibility. How you react – always- is your responsibility. No matter what.
Read also:
Making Healthy Choices: Guess what? This one is also essential and goes
100% hand-in-hand with the previous one. As long as you make choices that do
not benefit you, you haven’t much hope of finding that elusive quality you are
searching for: happiness. So here’s what that means: understand that at every
moment of every day you are making choices (even if you choose not to make
one). Those choices compose the sum total of your days, your weeks, and hence
your life. So it is entirely up to you to make choices about everything that is
going on that benefit you. If you find yourself in a terrible bind; a really
challenging place, you can choose your thoughts about this
challenge. You can choose where those thoughts go and hence you have a hand in
deciding how you feel thanks to the thoughts you have chosen. And remember: you always have a choice!
Read also:
Forgiving: Bet you don’t like that one. But here’s the thing: if you don’t forgive,
happiness will absolutely elude you.
If you don’t forgive, you’ll continue to vibrate to past pain. It will eat at
you – perhaps only every so often when you think of the past event – but it
will corrode your happiness as surely as acid destroys metal. Deciding to
forgive; choosing to forgive, is
elementary to happiness. Forgiving does not mean condoning. It does not mean
you have to love or hug that person that did whatever it was to you. It also
doesn’t mean that you have to have any kind of relationship with that person at
all. You need not even let that person know that you have forgiven him or her.
But forgiving him or her is one of the tasks you’ve set yourself in this life. Without
it, your happiness will never be more than partial and temporary.
Read also:
·
The above article on cellular responsibility
also apples to this topic
Being Aware: None of the above will work
without awareness. So in fact, all of these elements are so intertwined, that
by working on one you will also run face-to-face into the others. Leaving one out
signifies that the work you do on the others is incomplete. Being aware means
first and foremost standing in an engaged relationship with yourself. It means
paying attention to what you’re thinking and feeling. It means choosing to make
better choices by taking more responsibility for yourself and loving yourself
in ways that show you that you love
yourself. You’ll know when you’re doing it because you will feel so good
inside, even if just for a moment. Even your body will give confirmation of that
fact by how it momentarily feels.
Read also:
There are also many
articles directly about the subject of happiness both on this blog, my other blog, and on my website with much more information.
Remember: it’s up to
you whether you are happy, not your
circumstances.
***************
Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.
Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)
Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.
Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.
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Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar
DEINE SEELE UND DU
Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle
Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.
My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram
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