"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Offering Love Despite Being Hurt

What do you do when someone hurts your feelings? How do you react when someone shows you that they disapprove of you? What do you say when someone insults you? In all of these instances, the 'someone' I'm referring to, is someone you love. I'm not even going to the place where this happens with someone out there with whom you have little relationship. Let's first - in today's post - just discuss it in terms of those you love or care for. So you've been hurt, maligned, disapproved of, criticized, judged to be lacking in some way, ridiculed, compared to another who does whatever it is you are attempting better, and insulted. You've been misunderstood and you very much feel unloved. What do you do?

Spiritual guidelines suggest that this is a good place to initiate a practice of loving or showing love despite all of this. This does not mean you should accept abuse and it also does not mean you should allow others to step all over your boundaries. But it does mean that you can react lovingly. Compassionately. You can react from a space where you are aware of the fact that none of us has achieved full enlightenment, and without that we are prone not only to all that has been heaped on you just now, but also prone to the primordial reaction that has arisen out of your self.  No one suggests this is easy. What it is, however, is a way to practice becoming more of what you are.

What a glorious goal to reach for! If you were a piece of coal and somehow knew you could become a brilliant piece of gold by passing through fire, would you not wish to undergo that process of transformation? And if you furthermore learned that it lies entirely in your own hands, would that not make you even more eager to begin the process right now? What is stopping you? Think about it. The thing that is most likely interfering with your decision to do this is your ego - the part of you that wants to be right, better, and more than another. And if that is what is stopping you, it already tells you that your 'coal' part could really use some polishing. Another part of you that may be stopping you, is your lack of self-love. Without a measure of self-love, it is very hard to be compassionate and loving with others. David Deida wrote: spiritual practice is the capacity to offer your love even when you feel hurt, closed down, tense, angry, misunderstood or hated.

Image: Hatley Gardens, Colwood, California


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming spring 2015)


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

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