"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Small Changes Over Time Become Significant

Do you remember learning how to write? I'm not talking about spelling, but about forming letters. Spending hours copying the huge print letters in the teacher's handwriting on the blackboard into your notebook, trying to stay on the lines. Doing it over and over. Finally, your squiggles became legible and mom said: 'darling, how wonderful! You just wrote an 'A'!

The improvement in each of your attempts to get to the recognizable 'A' was minimal, but each improvement created that combination of lines that eventually allowed your mother (or someone) to be able to read what you had written, making all those small and apparently insignificant improvements most significant after all.

Likewise when you were learning how to speak and understand a foreign language. At first you understood nothing. Then you caught words here and there, then phrases, and finally whole sentences. Clearly, the erstwhile insignificant improvements in understanding, ultimately led to a most significant improvement after all, the allowed you to actually speak the language. We can apply the analogy to sports, to music, public speaking, to sewing, to studying, to fishing, to playing tennis, and any activity you can think of at all.

We know all of this, and yet we seem to find it so difficult to apply it to our relationships. Imagine making small - and apparently insignificant - improvements in how patient you are with your partner. Or small - apparently insignificant - improvements in how considerate you are. Or small - and apparently insignificant - improvements in how much you help around the house, or are willing to occasionally go to football games or the opera (insert whatever your spouse loves doing that you don't like). Or small - and apparently insignificant - improvements in how much you move that half mile towards your partner in those things he/she has often asked you to think about or do, or share with him/her.

As in the examples about learning how to form letters, or a new language, in these relationship examples your tiny steps towards improvement do add up to significant improvements over the long term. You are the only one who can intend this and you are the only one who can then choose to actually do it. As Tom Peters said: there is no such thing as an insignificant improvement.

Image: Manhattan in 1609 as jungle and today as concrete (Photo: Wildlife Conservation Society/Barcoft)


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.

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