So You Think You're Really Something Else!

The fact of the matter is that a far larger percentage of people - despite their outer persona - think they are precisely not something else, as compared to those (far fewer people) who value, appreciate, and esteem themselves. This causes much unhappiness, pain, strife, stress, anxiety, even panic and depression.

The reasons we tend not to value ourselves as we could are numerous - here are just a few:

• nobody showed us how to do this when we were small children and growing up, which means we had very poor role models in this regard
• we were told it would mean we were selfish or arrogant
• we were told it was a sin to think well of ourselves
• we were criticized much more than we were encouraged (parents, schools, churches)
• due to the above our automatic, reactive, and blind negative self-talk grew exponentially

While that sounds as though I am fully laying the blame for poor self-esteem on others, I'm merely pointing out the root of the matter. Blaming it on others is as lacking in understanding of what we are truly capable of, as it would be if I said that my parents did not teach me how to use cutlery the European way, and so it's their fault that Europeans think I have no table manners. In other words, I can learn how to use the correct cutlery, just as I can learn how to value, esteem, and appreciate myself.

But if you don't - assuming you've recognized that you're lacking in it by virtue of the many 'symptoms' you show such as:

• You believe others are frequently criticizing you
• You believe others are frequently judging you
• You believe others think little of you
• New situations create a good deal of anxiety in you
• Unexpected situations where others believe you will be able to handle yourself in a mature fashion may bring you to jolting fear, anxiety, stress, and even panic, or to tears
• You continually second-guess yourself
• You continually worry about what others think of you, how you dress, what you say and do, and how you say and do it
• No matter how accomplished, beautiful, funny, intelligent, or successful you are, somewhere inside of you, you simply don't believe it

So, as said above, if you don't learn how to value, esteem, and appreciate yourself, knowing that the above list causes much of your inner life to be dreadful in so many ways, then you are condemning yourself to perpetuating the agony. Changing how you view yourself and how you think about yourself, and above all, how you love yourself is not so hard, although it does require some persistence.

Here are some past posts and articles to read:

• Cultivating Your Best Friend
• Giving Your Genes a New Message
• Have You Sold Your Soul?
• Loving the Self in 10 Steps

Coming to the point where you truly believe that you really are something else (in a healthy way) can begin today. Just choose to start now.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.