"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Do You Manage Your Emotions or Do Your Emotions Manage You?

Managing your emotions is something many people have difficulty learning how to do, other than sternly or stoically suppressing them, which is clearly not a great solution, because as you probably know, what you suppress comes out to haunt you in another, totally unexpected place. Therefore we might say that for a great number of people, emotions manage them, as opposed to the alternative where they are the ones who manage the emotions.

When your emotions manage you, you are at their mercy - never a particularly brilliant state of affairs. Your inner state shifts back and forth like a leaf moves in the wind, with little - if any - will of its own.

So clearly, it behooves you to learn how to manage your emotions. In order to do this, it is a good idea to begin with a practice of mindfulness that will show you the volatility and 'willy-nilly-ness' of your thoughts that arise unbidden in your mind. Your thoughts about something bring about most of your emotions. 
  • upon receiving a diagnosis of cancer, your thoughts may turn to the difficulty and problems inherent in chemotherapy, surgery, or radiation therapy, as well as the potential of dying. Those thoughts are what bring about the emotion of fear.
  • upon receiving poor examination results, your thoughts may turn to the fact that you might not get your degree, or pass the bar exam, etc. Those thoughts are what bring about emotions.
  • upon hearing a song on the radio that reminds you of an ill-fated love affair, your thoughts turn nostalgic and you remember events that you wish still formed part of your life. Those thoughts are what bring about the emotion of pain.
Learning to manage your thoughts come before learning how to manage your emotions, and it requires being present in order to be aware of what is going on in your mind and in order to be able to choose those thoughts in ways that are beneficial to you. Hence mindfulness.

Click on the labels under this post for other posts about this. 

Image: Positano, Amalfi Coast, Italy

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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