Who Is This Person With Whom You Are?

Have you ever asked yourself that question about the person closest to you? Have you ever realized that the person closest to you is actually a stranger in some ways? Ever come to the conclusion that what you believed about that person has nothing to do with reality? Ever decided that if the person you are with, whom you are now seeing with totally new eyes, is not the way you thought he/she was, then you don’t want to spend any more time with him or her?

What a realization! What a nightmare! What an epiphany! What freedom! Each case is different.

But what is true is that this happens more often than not. We start out our relationships believing that the person we are falling in love with is one way, but in reality he/she is totally different. No, they did not pretend to be what they are not (or at least, that is not the rule). And no, they did not change during the course of the relationship from what we thought they were to this new person (or at least, that is also not the rule). And no, it’s not that you are a total loss at judging a person's character (or at least, that does not tend to be the rule).

So what is it that happens?

In a nutshell, it’s projection. We are attracted to, and fall in love with, that which we want, that which is missing in our own selves, and thus we find a good hook for it in the person we are attracted to. We also neglect to heed many of the warning signs we receive. These include:

• What the other person actually tells us
• What we feel in our solar plexus at the beginning that seems to warn us about something regarding this person (a twisting in the gut, might be one way of phrasing it). It does not mean the other person is bad, simply that we might need - for example - to have healthier boundaries, or even to love ourselves more.
• All the little clues we readily ignore, casting them aside in the desire to get what we want, which – as stated – often has little to do with the person we are faced with, but with our own projections, and our own needs.

So of course after a time, after the first glow is gone, after the powerful draw of chemistry is no longer so strong, we begin to feel disappointed in one thing or another, these add up, and we gradually see another person than the one we fell in love with. But, again, this is not necessarily because the other person has changed, but because we are no longer seeing them through the projection. And perhaps they are no longer fulfilling our needs ...

So we ask: Who is this person with whom I am?

It is at this point that we may actually begin to see the real jewel in the relationship, the real value this has for our future understanding, growth and freedom. The process that is now possible is the true reason we were initially attracted. It is now that we can begin to polish the diamond and come away with something of far greater value than that which we thought we were getting when we first fell in love. If we are capable of persevering now – at least for a time – in the understanding that the gift is only now beginning to unfold, we will come out of this far richer, far greater persons, with a much more enduring and powerful relationship on all levels, than we can even begin to imagine.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books.   

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Come Back to Listening to Yourself

Why have we become a world of people who no longer know how to (or wish to) listen to themselves? Why have we become a world of people who listens more to what the media says, to what our culture says, to what our colleague, neighbor, or best friend says in order to decide what we should believe, think, feel, do, or say, or even how we should react? What has happened to us that so many of us have gone down this undeniably stultifying and soul-less road?

Clearly, I don't have the complete answers to this, but one is obvious, and yet we do little about its influence over us, and that is the adoration of fame, celebrity-hood, success, and money.

How many times were you asked in the particular schools you went to, what you were passionate about? How many times were you told over the course of your first 18 years of life that beauty had little to do with how thin, how muscled, or how well-dressed in designer clothes you were? How often did you hear that excelling in something did not mean you had to be the best, the most well-known or popular, but simply that you had to have tried to do well? How often were you encouraged to listen to your own inner voice, and above all, how often were you told that the inner voice held great value for you? When were you shown how important it is to love yourself? When did you last seek out silence, being alone, and deliberately try to see beauty everywhere you happened to look?

Just because the world is like this, don't believe you have to follow suit. Or even if you have followed suit for many years, it doesn't mean you can't change back to how you were in so many ways as a child. You can go back to listening to yourself. You can relearn how to find value in that inner voice. You can put passion and vibrancy back into your existence, no matter how old you are. All you have to do is choose to do so. And then you begin.

It was Joseph Campbell who said : the world is full of people who have stopped listening to themselves or have listened only to their neighbors to learn what they ought to do, how they ought to behave, and what the values are they should be living for.

Don't settle for this. Don't settle for such a life.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books.   

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

The Greatest Gift for the World: A Healthy You

The more vibrant you are, the happier you are, the more conscious and aware you are, the more responsibility you take for your own inner and outer well-being - the better the conscious choices you make - the healthier you are.

And the healthier you are, the more you are able to give the world a gift: a gift of this higher energetic frequency in you, a gift of all that you emanate, a gift of your innate joyfulness - innate, because you have learned how to and chosen to make it so, and not necessarily because you were born this way.

Can you imagine the ripple effects of all of this?

And then think of it in geometric progression: the ripple effects of your presence will affect the people whose lives you touch. As they in turn - should they choose to emulate your energetic frequency because they can feel how great it is - also create ripple effects in their own lives, affecting the people whose lives they touch, the potential for more and more people to create similar energy-enhancing ripple effects grows exponentially.

If only you will work on yourself to heal and change yourself, you can have the potential to be the catalyst for change in the lives of many others. And that - eventually - will change our world.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books.   

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

The Secret to Choosing Good Thoughts

A lotus flower that comes from the mud (remember the by now well-known adage by Thich Nhat Hanh: no mud, no lotus), comes despite the mud, and also because of the mud.

When it comes to choosing good thoughts you can draw on that analogy. Let's assume you have a thought that stresses you, frightens you, pains you. You might be thinking how will I ever resolve my health problem / my financial issues / my relationship difficulties / my professional situation / my legal setbacks, and so on. Many who espouse using affirmations in order to deal with such thoughts, i.e., making a positive thought of the negative one, are - or so I believe - despite being well-intentioned, missing the point.

First it is necessary to acknowledge the problem, the fear, the stress, the issue. Just as the lotus accepts the mud, we might say. It does not ignore it, nor does it malign it. It uses it. So you can use the negative thought as a stepping stone or ramp from which to move forward. Therefore, having acknowledged its presence in your life, you can now say to yourself (much of this kind of work can take place inside your head and heart): 'here you are, I don't yet know what to do about you, but I can choose to put my attention elsewhere'. This means that by removing the energy of your focus from the negative thought, and deliberately (by choosing to do so), placing the energy of your focus on something different - something that will help you shift your inner state at the very minimum from one of turmoil to one of harmony - you literally wrest power from the negative thought and begin to give power to another part of yourself each time you repeat this process.

And thus the lotus grows. Perhaps still under the mud. Perhaps not yet visible in all its glory. But eventually it will surface and show the world the beauty inherent in it. As can you.

In my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (download an excerpt here), I wrote: choosing where you focus your thoughts is NOT repressing the bad ones but giving energy to better ones.

Note: having acknowledged a problem's existence in your life clearly also requires proactive work on it. However, this is never reminating and indulging in worry, negativity, and fear. Being proactive about it means that you may consult with an expert, get a second opinion, do some research yourself, polish your CV or skills, etc., but then, after having dedicated some time each day to this endeavor to proactively resolve whatever it is, you then do the above, i.e., you focus elsewhere in order to not indulge in negative thoughts. This shifting of your inner state by doing so, will change your energetic frequency, and from that new energetic vantage point, you may see windows or doors where before you only saw walls.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

 
Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Being Unconquerable

Over the millennia of recorded human history we have countless examples of beings who may have been ill, suffering, in chains, or suppressed in some other way, and yet their spirit was never conquered because they had made some inner choices

Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese opposition politician who remained under house arrest in Burma for a period of 15 years, even when her husband was dying in England is an excellent example of being unconquerable. She was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in the midst of this in 1991. Nelson Mandela (my perennial favorite, as I always feel so inspired by him), is another unconquerable hero due to his 27 years as a prisoner of the Apartheid régime in South Africa, where he did not allow this harrowing situation to gain power over his inner self. As we all know, when he was finally released, he served as South Africa's first black elected president from 1994-1999. We can also go back in history to heroes such as Joan of Arc in France, Spartacus in Rome, or Winston Churchill in England. 

What unites all the people I've mentioned is the indomitable aspect of their spirit; their refusal to allow their inner selves to be conquered by very difficult circumstances. Part of this may be due to the fact that they strongly believed in some goal or ideal, and part of it may be due to the fact that they took extremely good care of their thoughts.

Taking good care of your thoughts implies being conscious and aware (and loving yourself enough to want to do so and therefore to practice being so, while this is not yet a habit in your life). Imagine you are not aware of your body needing a shower, or your teeth needing a good brushing. You simply wouldn't do it if you were not aware of it. This, unfortunately, is what happens to so many who are not aware of their thoughts. They therefore allow these thoughts to run away with them, i.e., they allow their thoughts to dominate their mind, their emotions, and ultimately, their lives, resulting in a situation where they are not able to be unconquerable in the way I have described the mind of the above heroes.

Learning to take good care of your thoughts is a question of awareness, as said, and practicing being aware, until it becomes second nature. That's it. Seneca said: It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 
 
Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

I Love You Because I Need You

Spiritual partnership - more exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known - is a path - a Tao - offered to us to evolve and grow. It is my deep wish that as you read this book and apply its principles to your life, you will find momentum, encouragement, and inspiration to pave your way to a different and new kind of partnership. In so doing, it is also my deep wish that you will find that connection to yourself that will allow you to live in the greatest inner peace, harmony and well-being you have ever experienced. Spiritual partnership is a path we can choose to take in order to make this possible. Spiritual partnership acts as background music in your daily life allowing you - should you so decide - to enhance your process of evolution and growth.  Loving another individual - a life partner, a parent, a child, a friend - brings this possibility into our lives, initially through pain and frustration because, as you will come to recognize as you read, how we are led to understand love and relationship in our culture has little to do with true spiritual partnership where love lies in an entirely different dimension.

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth.  And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships.

*******************

Why do we believe we love because we need?              

Is there any part of that kind of sentiment that is mature and adult? Where else can it lead us other than to - eventual - frustration and pain? And don’t forget: if the other person is also on the same page and loves you because of how you fill their needs, then they will go through a similar process. And sooner or later you are going to let them down – as they will let you down – because it is very difficult to be responsible for another’s well-being by fulfilling their needs, the needs that they should be fulfilling themselves.

                

So to fall in love and go through this process is excellent because the place we come out at the other end of the tunnel is indeed worth its weight in gold. To love without needing is the priceless gift we can receive from having fallen in love and having chosen to use the challenges it evokes to further our growth, rather than to take the simple way out and blame the other for now no longer fulfilling our needs, or no longer making us happy. Having fallen in love is the basic step that can lead us to the treasure of being able to love without needing.

But let's take a step back. We haven't yet discovered how loving without needing can be possible. To arrive at such a prospect is the promise of my book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership ... to download the full excerpt, of which today's post is a small section, click here.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

What Are You Prepared to See?

One day, driving along the beautiful coastline here in southern Spain with an acquaintance, an area reminiscent of the Santa Barbara coastline in California, my acquaintance went to great lengths to tell me how terrible it was of the government to permit the billboards along the road, that there were a great many overflowing trash receptables, that areas of the mountains had been gouged out for quarries, leaving them naked and violated. She expressed her horror of this. All of that was, in fact, quite true, but at the same time there were endless vistas of breath-taking beauty to be seen all along the drive. One had to literally and studiously avoid looking at them, in order not to see them.

On another occasion someone I knew was talking to me about the terrible lack of foresight in this country inasmuch as very few stopping areas along the roads are provided for those who wish to take photographs of the panoramic views spread in front of us on our drive. This was mentioned rather frequently, while very little was said about those spectacular views.

A more extreme version of the above examples looks more like this (and we have all seen this happen in our lives):

• that person is blind and therefore can't be hired for this job or is _____________
• that person is over 50 and therefore __________________________________
• that person/group is Catholic and therefore _____________________________
• that person/group is socialist and therefore _____________________________
• that person/group is Jewish and therefore ______________________________
• that person/group is a democrat and so _______________________________
• that person is fat and so __________________________________________
• that person/group is Chinese/Russian/American/French and so ______________
• that person group is Muslim and so __________________________________
• that person/group is vegan and so ___________________________________
• that person/group is Buddhist and so _________________________________
• that person/group ... fill in the blank

Much more than about stereotypes and prejudices, this is about what you are prepared to see. Just as in my first example of the person who only saw garbage in places where there was also great beauty, and was literally blind to that beauty right next to the garbage, so too are we as global citizens all too frequently convinced that all there is to see is something negative about any kind of person or group because of those preconceived notions and hence we are blind to all the other parts of them, which almost always carry within them something of beauty. It was Emerson who said: people only see what they are prepared to see.

What are you prepared to see? Please consider this very carefully as you go about your day today and every day.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.

To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 
Here is a paragraph from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.