"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Friday, July 26, 2013

Finding the Soul in Your Relationship

What are the things you talk about with your partner? What are the typical things you do together? Might your lists look a bit like this:

What we talk about:
  • the kids
  • the next vacation
  • what to have for dinner
  • the mortgage
  • your job
  • my job
  • your colleagues
  • my colleagues
  • we need a new car
  • the schooling costs are getting too high ... what can we do?
  • the neighbours
  • your parents
  • my parents
  • our friends
  • the news, the economy, taxes
What we do together:
  • go to church
  • go to the cinema
  • eat out
  • go to a sports event
  • attend a social event with friends and family
  • play sports
  • play cards
  • play games (together - online or not)
  • go for a walk
  • go to the gym
  • go shopping
  • go on vacation
  • watch a movie together on TV
  • prepare a meal together

What's wrong with these scenarios? Aren't each of the points those things we talk about and do together in a very normal way? Don't they signify that what we do is 'normal' and probably healthy? Yes. Of course. However, there is no soul there.

The things we talk about together and do together in the normal way of life are all important and necessary in order to live normal, decently happy, and efficient lives in our culture, but they bring us little or no soul, and they certainly do not connect us on a soul level. Without such a soul connection - or inner and deep connection in our partnerships and relationships - we will have a very hard time keeping those relationships going in the wonderful and miraculous ways they potentially can.

Think about it: when do you truly feel connected to your partner? Certainly, physical closeness, intimacy and sex form part of it (or not), but I'm talking more of a connection established when you talk and communicate. Isn't it always when you speak from your inner self as opposed to about outer events or problems? Or isn't it when you talk about those outer events or issues from an inner perspective? Does that not draw you in to a closeness with your partner that is not there on that level if you stay on the outer level alone?

Allowing closeness; allowing vulnerability; allowing the other to see our doubts, apprehension, distrust, suspicion, and fear on that profoundly personal level that is deeply emotional will do much more to bring soul into your relationship than any kind of physical intimacy can - although, conversely - precisely with such deep communication, physical intimacy has the potential of becoming - even after decades of being together - more passionate than it ever was when attraction, chemistry, and that other level of love were the only thing fueling it.

Give this some thought ... the soul of your relationship depends on it.

For more about finding soul in your relationships to help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency


For more about understanding the path towards life meaning and the inner quest, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is due out later this year. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is The Tao of Spiritual Partnership, so named for my new book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

No comments:

Post a Comment