"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Fully Expressing All Emotions

If you've been keeping up with my posts, it may sound as though I am suggesting that you focus only on feeling good, on keeping your energetic vibration or frequency high, and that you ignore or forget about your other, less agreeable emotions.

In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

Your emotions need careful looking at, careful calibration, and certainly, should not be ignored. If you are angry, this needs to be expressed. If you are sad, or grieving, again, this needs to be expressed. If you are feeling any kind of emotion, an avenue for its expression needs to be found.

But…the expression of your emotion needs to be a healthy one. It needs to underline and foment the idea that you love yourself and that however you express yourself, you continue to do so in such a way that you don't lose respect for yourself.

So if you are angry - yelling, fighting, or insulting won’t cut it. A healthy expression might be something along the lines of maintaining healthy boundaries (see my article: Do Your Relationship Boundaries Contribute to your Well-Being?), where you could choose to say to the person who has angered you: that is not acceptable to me. Or: your lack of respect (or consideration) for me is not acceptable. Or: I feel that you have not listened to me, not understood me, and I feel that you are totally ignoring my opinions about this matter. This makes me feel insulted (or hurt, or angry, or sad, etc.). And you would need to set up some consequences should this type of behavior continue.

The point being, that as you express your emotions in this way, rather than by fighting, or arguing, or playing the one-up-man-ship game, you are showing yourself respect for yourself, and thus gain a sense of empowerment. In a subliminal way you are also telling yourself that you love yourself enough to do it this way. And the more that message of healthy self-love gets through to you, the greater will be your connection to yourself and the greater will also be your inner state of harmony and well-being.

If the emotions you are feeling are grief or sadness, these must also be expressed. If someone you love is ill, or if you have lost someone you love, or if you have had a loss of another kind, you clearly can not gloss over this, and try to make yourself feel good. You must go through the process of the loss, or the pain. Nevertheless, the healthy personality will find – even in a situation of this nature – something positive to take from it, something to learn from it, something with which inner growth can take place, leading to ever greater inner freedom. Further, the healthy person will move to a state of inner balance because he loves himself and only then examine the pain. Doing it like that simply means that you are better able to care for yourself in such a state of pain or loss.

Here is where renowned thinkers or world leaders such as Viktor Frankl (Man's Search For Meaning), or Nelson Mandela (his autobiography), or Alexandr Solzhenitsyn (One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich) can help open your eyes a great deal.

One caveat: if you feel a need to express your negative emotions in such a way so that you can blame another for your feelings or for whatever it is that is happening to you, there is probably something else at work, than “just” your difficult emotions. In all likelihood there is an underlying issue…just the fact that you want to blame can clue you in on that…because no matter what the other has done, you are the one who chooses how to act and react, and you are the one who is responsible for how you feel (yes, you are!) and therein lies your choice for bondage or freedom.

For much more about understanding how a healthy expression of your emotions (all of them) - even when things are difficult - can make such a difference in your relationships and the emotions you experience in them, and how awareness of this can help you find love, and move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency


For more about understanding the path towards life meaning and the inner quest, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

Note: If you are wondering why this blog only appears on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul, so named for my earlier book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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