our relationship lives we would do well to learn a lesson: how you see your partner - how you choose to see your partner - will greatly influence the outcome of the partnership.
One part of it is focus: do you focus on the good or the bad? You don't need me to tell you that all of us have great, good, annoying and perhaps even bad aspects. But again (and you know this) a relationship consists of balancing what you see out there in your partner. At the beginning your balance was probably leaning very favorably on the side of all the 'good' that you saw. Later, perhaps, it leans in the other direction. All of this is a choice.
Try this exercise: make a list of 10 aspects of your partner that you always liked or loved - even if that is not how you tend to think of him/her at this time. Decide - or said another way - choose to think of those parts of your partner whenever he/she pops into your head. Also choose to bring those parts into your head when you and your partner are disagreeing or arguing. You don't have to mention that you are doing this - just keep those better aspects of your partner present during the argument. Do this at least for one week. And see what changes. It was Thoreau who said: It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
For much more about allowing love to be your guiding force in relationships, and how awareness about this can help us to move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership which is now available in paperback format. (The Kindle version is now available here)
To download the first chapter, click here
From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.
This ground-breaking book addresses:
• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship
It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships.
Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership
“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency
REWIRING THE SOUL
For more about understanding the self and inner growth in your relationships, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).
To download the first chapter, click here
From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.