"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dream Symbols: Sex

It's almost funny: what could sex be a symbol of? I mean, sex is sex, right?

On one level it is - mainly because most dreams should always be taken a face level as well as at the symbolic level, so if you dream about having sex, it could merely mean that you wish you were having it in real life, or that the person with whom you are having sex is someone you desire in real life, and so on.

However, on another level, sex also speaks to us of connection, or communion with our opposite gender self. In other words, it tells us about our relationship with the part of ourselves that is the opposite sex. If you have read or heard anything about Carl Gustav Jung, you will know that he often referred to the anima and the animus. The former refers to the feminine side of men, and the latter is what the masculine side of women is called.

So, if a man is having trouble having sex with a beautiful woman who is very much into him in the dream, but he is not quite able to manage, then it might be interpreted as the feminine part of him wanting to form a greater part of his outer identity, but he not being comfortable with it, and hence not letting it show up in public. This would be the symbolism of the sexual difficulty he is experiencing in the dream, and is not foreshadowing that he will soon be impotent! Unless...he has actually been having some problems in this sector...then the dream could be a night-time re-hashing of the real-life event that is most certainly causing some stress.

Or imagine a 70-yr-old woman dreaming that she is having sex with a young beautiful man. She might come to my practice, ashamed of her dream, asking me if this means that she secretly desires to have sex with someone half a century younger than herself. In all likelihood it is not that, but rather, an indication that she has just barely (hence the young man, rather than a middle-aged or even older man in the dream) begun to have a relationship with her masculine self, her animus.

How would she see a manifestation of that in real life? She might have been recently widowed and now, for the first time, she is taking care of bills, making financial and other business decisions, and in some way being more pro-active, in the way we think of men as being pro-active, independent, and entrepreneurial, than she has ever been in the past.

Or perhaps a woman who has become bitter in life due to failed relationships, and who has been in therapy, working on those matters, has now had a dream where she is making love to a faceless stranger, but the sensation she has is one of deep and tender feelings during the dream. The symbolic meaning might be that she has finally opened up her inner self to a new relationship in real life, and also has opened her inner self to make possible the merging (sex) of her feminine and masculine self.

Likewise a man who dreams of having sex with a witch, or a woman who in some way is trying to undermine him or hurt him, or who frightens him in the dream, might, in waking life, ask himself what it is he is afraid of regarding the expression of his feminine self in real life. The fact that he battles with the witch, or is frightened by the woman in bed with him in the dream, may symbolize that he rejects and fears his feminine side in real life, or that he feels if he expresses this nascent side of his personality he will be swallowed by it, suffocated, or in some other way lose himself. If, after some time, he begins to dream of having good or loving sex with a beautiful woman, rather than with a witch-like creature, it would possibly be symbolizing that he has begun the process of accepting his feminine side and is now more at peace with the expression of that in his real life.

Previous posts in this series are:

Dream Symbols 1: Pregnancy and Birth
Dream Symbols 2: Death
Dream Symbols 3: The Snake
Dream Symbols 4: The Butterfly
Dream Symbols 5: Flying
Dream Symbols 6: The House Part 1
Dream Symbols 7: The House Part 2: The Kitchen
Dream Symbols 8: The House Part 3: The Bathroom
Dream Symbols 9: The House Part 4: The Bedroom
Dream Symbols 10: Marriage
Dream Symbols 11: The Spider

Image: Tiahuanaco, Peru

Monday, May 28, 2012

Is It Really Important To Be You?

Funny question. How important is it to be you?

Being you is a frightening concept to many people. They may define themselves by their professional situation, their academic prestige, their social position or family background, their finances and material well-being, their political party or religious convictions, they may define themselves by the people they know, the places they frequent, they may even define themselves by their looks and their physical attributes.

While all of the above is in fact, part of who we are, it does not necessarily define us. If a man is given professional recognition as a lawyer and is part of a conservative party due to his family's leaning over generations, and it is expected that he follow that political line, we might say that he is living an authentic life if we don't scratch beneath the surface. What if this man is gay? How much of his mode of living can be true to himself if he needs to hide or is afraid to show that most important aspect of his being? Or what if he is a closet liberal, politically speaking? What if he is a lawyer because it was expected, or because it would give him a good income, but at heart he wanted to write or paint? Or be a travel journalist?

You clearly see what I am driving at. Not being you implies potential tragedy. Not being you implies a life half lived. Not being you may erode your health...physiological, psychological or spiritual.
There is another important facet to not being you. Many of us simply don't know who we are. Not necessarily our fault, you know. Schools teach us so much: reading, writing, mathematics, history, geography, etc., but when are we ever taught about ourselves, and how important it is to get to know ourselves...this person with whom we will live all our lives? When are we shown the importance of taking the journey within?

This is a topic I would like to explore at greater length - perhaps in one of my newsletter articles, because we tend to gloss over it - not because we are necessarily shallow materialists, but because it is not emphasized to the degree that it could be done, if we as a society placed as much importance on the inner quest as on the outer search for excellence.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Low Frequency Thoughts Erode the Quality of Your Life

Imagine you went through a bad divorce, financially and child custody-wise. But it happened a while ago, and basically doesn’t bother you anymore. But today you caught yourself thinking about it, and going over how you got royally messed about in the financial sector.

Or imagine that you didn’t get a promotion at some point in your life when for all intents and purposes you should have, and someone essentially stepped on your shoulders and got what you should have had. In the meantime you have become relatively successful, and this really no longer irritates you, but today you caught yourself thinking about it and reviewing how you received such unfair treatment from management.

Or imagine that you had written a very clever essay in your English Lit class, you got top grades for it, but when it came time to read a portion of one of the essays to the class, your professor chose to read that of another student. You were hurt at the time, but it’s over, and you have other things on your mind, but today you have caught yourself thinking about it, and remembering how it dismayed you.

And the time your girlfriend cheated on you…you were devastated, but now you have a new girlfriend whom you love in other, much more wonderful ways, and you are happy with her, but something triggered the memory of the betrayal, and you are feeling the flood of obsession and betrayal all over.

And as you find yourself in any of the above – or other similar – situations, you find that you spiral downwards into an inner state that is not good.

It’s of utmost importance to recognize what is going on here. The thoughts you are having about the event in question are low-frequency thoughts that literally erode the quality and the happiness and joy of your life. These are thoughts that immediately bring you to another state than the one you were previously on. If we could equate your state of being to a number on a scale of 0-10, where 0 is awful and 10 is superlative, you might have been going on your day at a 6, and when these thoughts occurred you spiraled down to a 4 or a 3 or even less.

What can you do about this? How can you control such thoughts?

It is literally impossible to be the policeman of all your thoughts all of the time. But it is quite simple to be the observer of your state of being at all times. As you slide down to a lower frequency because of the type of thought described above, you will feel that your state of being has eroded, has climbed down to a place that is not as good as the place you were at before, even if the place you were at before was not so terribly grand either.

The point is, you’ve gone down. And you can do something about this. It’s all up to you.

Become aware of yourself, your state of being, your feelings, and then make the choice to take action in order to bring yourself back up to another level by taking responsibility for yourself. Also see The Energy Barometer, Make Your Mind Body Connection Work For You.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Who Is This Person With Whom You Are?

Ever asked yourself that question about the person closest to you? Ever realized that the person closest to you is actually a stranger in some ways? Ever come to the conclusion that what you believed about that person has nothing to do with reality? Ever decided that if the person you are with, whom you are now seeing with totally new eyes, is not the way you thought he/she was, then you don’t want to spend any more time with him or her?

What a realization! What a nightmare! What freedom! Each case is different.

But what is true is that this happens more often than not. We start out our relationships believing that the person we are falling in love with is one way, but in reality they are totally different. No, they did not pretend to be what they are not (or at least, that is not the rule). And no, they did not change during the course of the relationship from what we thought they were to this new person (or at least, that is not the rule). And no, it’s not that you are a total loss at judging a person's character (or at least, that is not the rule).

So what is it that happens?

In a nutshell, it’s projection. We are attracted to, and fall in love with, that which we want, that which is missing in our own selves, and thus we find a good hook for it. We also neglect to heed many of the warning signs we receive. These include:
  • What the other person actually tells us
  • What we feel in our solar plexus at the beginning that seems to warn us against this person (a twisting in the gut, might be one way of phrasing it)
  • All the little clues we readily ignore, casting them aside in the desire to get what we want, which – as stated – often has little to do with the person we are faced with, but with our own projections.
So of course after a time, after the first glow is gone, after the powerful draw of chemistry is no longer so strong, we begin to feel disappointed in one thing or another, these add up, and we gradually see another person than the one we fell in love with. But, again, this is not because the other person has changed, but because we are no longer seeing them through the projection.

So we ask: Who is this person with whom I am?

It is at this point that we may actually begin to see the real jewel in the relationship, the real value this has for our future growth and freedom. The process that is now possible is the true reason we were initially attracted. It is now that we can begin to polish the diamond and come away with something of far greater value than that which we thought we were getting when we fell in love. If we are capable of persevering now – at least for a time – in the understanding that the gift is only now beginning to unfold, we will come out of this far richer, far greater persons, than we can even begin to imagine.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Fear of Emotional Expression: Leaving Your Comfort Zone

Who doesn’t know someone who seems to be afraid of showing their emotions; who may be very caring and giving on other levels, but who just can’t manage any real “feeling” words and actions?

Often these are men and women who may hide behind the cover of continual work commitments, who have a multitude of friends (generally of their own sex) with whom they insist on spending a great deal of time, or who simply always maintain a veneer of reserve, even with their closest and dearest.

So you can never really get close to them. They simply don’t let you.

And it’s almost impossible to have a conversation of any emotional depth; it may feel like struggling to grasp a slippery, wet fish if you try talking about emotions with them.

If you are feeling a vaguely uncomfortable twisting in your solar plexus, or a prickly tremor of warmth running through your chest and heart region, or your face heating ever so slightly, you might recognize yourself as one of the people that remain in the emotional comfort zone.

Any comfort zone exists in order to maintain the status quo. That is, you keep it up so that different areas of your life remain under control, that nothing changes, and that you feel secure. As you leave your emotional comfort zone, you start getting twinges of fear because you are entering unknown territory where you run risks, most particularly of becoming vulnerable and getting hurt.

What is actually happening is that by braving out into the unknown territory, by feeling the trepidation and fear, you are granted an invaluable opportunity to discover new facets of yourself, to enrich yourself, and to stretch and grow beyond your present limits. In this same way Columbus discovered the New World, man stepped on the moon, and you can also begin to express emotionally.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Relationship Pain

Who hasn’t been through relationship pain? Who hasn’t curled up into a ball (even if it’s inside your head) with the pain that some element of a relationship has caused? Who hasn’t wished that a portion of the life lived could be erased, could be forgotten, that by magic some form of amnesia would take over the brain, just to not remember whatever it is that is causing the pain?

So what can be done? How does one deal with this?

Alcohol, recreational and prescription drugs, religion, praying, meditating, panic attacks, hyper-ventilating, shopping, gambling, sex, frenzied social activity, numbness sought in movies, books, etc., are some of the methods people use to self-medicate in times of such relationship pain.

None of it really takes you anywhere. None of it is really of any lasting use. Oh, it may get you through the worst of your pain, but it doesn’t really help you deal with whatever the underlying issue may have been. The issue is not so much that there is relationship pain that was apparently caused by the actions of another person, but that you are reacting with such pain (See also my July 2006 Newsletter: I Need You…I Need You Not).

You see, when another person behaves in a way that hurts you, or does something that goes way beyond hurt, and that leaves an indelible mark on you in such a way, that you feel that you will never be the same again, then there is something inside of you – beyond the pain caused by the other – that needs attention. Basically what that means is that a good portion of your pain has to do with bits and pieces of yourself that have not yet been worked on, and that is why the actions of the other hurt so much. (See also my April 2006 Newsletter: Committed Relationships: Use Them to Grow Towards Self-Understanding and Real Love).

One of the things that needs looking at is your awareness of yourself and what it is that brought you to the place you are currently at. Another piece of the puzzle has to do with the choices you make at every step of the way: choices that you make when you act, react, feel, and think. (See also: The Mirror of Relationships). Awareness and making choices are two of the most important tools you can have in the quest for your own inner freedom, although there are others, that will be dealt with in other posts on this blog in future, such as keeping healthy boundaries and choosing happiness.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Don't Let Love Pass You By

This post is dedicated to all those people who have seen love walk into their life and who are considering letting it walk by them. All those people who have had the good fortune to know love, but who are contemplating not getting properly acquainted. All those people who don’t realize that love may happen more than once in a lifetime, but it is not a commodity that should be squandered or blithely thrown away.

Grab the brass ring when it appears. Love simply is not something you can count on happening at any particular time. It will happen, when it happens, and how it happens, quite out of your control. It may happen only once in a lifetime or it may happen a dozen times. When it appears, don't let it pass you by.

Some of the reasons we give ourselves for allowing love to escape us when it shows up in our lives, have to do with our left brain, with our rational, logical self, that cautions us, that reminds us that perhaps this person is not quite what we had thought would be right for us, or that it makes little sense because of the difference in backgrounds, or because we both live in different countries, or because one of the two already has children from a previous marriage, and so on.

But love is so precious. You may believe you will easily fall in love with another person, and you might, but perhaps the other person will not fall in love with you. Or vice versa, someone else may love you, but you don’t feel love for that person. And in the meantime, you have allowed love to pass you by because your rational, objective, logical mind has led you to take that decision.

In my other blog (Rewiring the Soul) I’ve written about the second and third brain and on my website the May 2006 Newsletter also refers to it: Introducing Our Second and Third Brains: We Do Think With Our Heart and Instinct.

This second and third brain have to do with those billions of neural cells that scientists have now discovered to also be located in our heart and gut (feelings and instincts), and that have been shown to contribute to our intelligence-gathering process in at least as great a measure, as those neural cells located in our brain, if not more. So it stands to reason that in questions of love, we should also allow these parts of our being come into play when we take decisions.

Let me repeat: love is so precious. Don’t let it walk past you. When it appears in your life, grab on to it. Hold it. Treasure it. You don’t have any guarantees that it will last forever. That is the terrain of fairy tales and religious institutionalized words until death do you part. The reality is that it may be short-lived or last an entire lifetime. The only guarantee we have is that it is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to a human being. And it happens for many reasons.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Emotional Scars

Our scars have the power to remind us of who we were. Re-watching a brief section of Red Dragon, the original Hannibal Lecter movie (yes, I like those movies too), Anthony Hopkins pronounced that sentence, and I was reminded of the symbolic meaning of scars.
Who doesn’t have scars? Whose body – other than a baby’s - is unblemished? Who can say they’ve lived a life that left no scars on the psyche, the heart, the soul? Although Lecter/Hopkins was referring to the scars Edward Norton's character had accumulated - on many different levels - by the end of the movie, the sentence obviously applies to the Joseph Fiennes character as well, so brutally scarred by his horrendous childhood experiences.

But what, in actual fact, is a scar? It’s a mark left somewhere after a wound has been inflicted. So scarring implies wounding, and wounding implies pain. And when we look at our physical scars, we are reminded of an event that took place at some point in the past that caused the scar to form. But many physical scars neither continue to cause us pain, nor do they cause us to engage in painful memories just by looking at them. There is one thing however. The skin where the scar is visible is no longer unblemished. Something has changed in its appearance. Hence the scar.

Our emotional, psychological, or spiritual scars are somewhat different. We can’t see them just by looking for them. Sometimes the only way we know they are there is by the absence of something. For instance, people who have little contact to their emotions, are deeply scarred. We can’t see puckered skin. But we can see the consequences of the wounding…the dysfunction in the emotional expression. Such a scar might be likened to the scar an amputation of a limb leaves. A prosthesis can be purchased. The body can learn how to use it, and a nearly normal range of movement can once again be established. With emotional scarring this is also possible…as long as the person who becomes aware of his or her scarring by the absence of something else, is willing to learn to use the prosthesis in order to regain a normal range of movement…in this case…is willing to learn how to connect to the emotions again, in order to regain a normal range of feeling.

Is this frightening? Not a doubt! Does it require courage to embark upon such an undertaking? Not a doubt! Is it easy? Absolutely not! Does it require practice and constancy? Unquestionably! Is awareness of the self a pre-requisite? Yes! Will it offer inner freedom and growth? Absolutely yes!

Is life without it possible? Of course. But the range of movement will be so limited that the person so scarred will appear to be a cripple.

Image: Rainbow Bridge, Australia

Friday, May 11, 2012

Don't Forget To Laugh!

So much serious stuff all the time. Find a meaning in your life..seek inner growth...watch for your inner freedom...don't wallow in relationship pain...and on and on.

But all the time what is truly so very important is that we remember to laugh. And that doesn't just mean laugh as in hearing a funny joke, or as in watching a comedy, or laugh as in seeing a funny video of your relatives at a party, but laugh as in find the laughter inside of you, even when on the outside it doesn't look so great.

You've probably heard all the same stories the rest of us have, about Patch Adams (played by Robin Williams in the movie by the same name), the doctor who invented laughter therapy, and about Norman Cousins, the man who realized that he was able to temporarily alleviate his pain by watching comedies. These people have shown the world that illness and pain, depression and other ailments can be ameliorated by laughter.

Laugh therapy has begun to become quite prevalent the world over...private practices such as mine, group sessions, weekend retreats, etc., have sprung up ubiquitously in order to show people the benefits of laughter.

Blood flow, immune response, blood sugar levels, all appear to improve with laughter. While the jury is still out on a definitive answer, it does appear that we should not ignore the potential of laughter in our lives, not to mention how good it makes you feel to have a belly laugh.

So back to the inner laughter. The laughter that we should work on finding despite outer worries, concerns, and pain or disappointment. Use your emotions as a barometer (see my article about this subject) in order to raise your energy. Use your emotions to help you realize when you need to find your inner laughter. Begin to practice this on a daily basis in order to bring your life to other levels of joy and satisfaction. Your inner laughter is not only capable of keeping you healthy, but also capable of keeping you in a place of much greater and more constant joy than the way you possibly live now.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Relationship Woes

An anonymous sent me this with regards to the last post on this blog:

Being married for 20 years and having 5 kids together creates a definite bond between a man and a woman. Words cannot describe the feeling a woman has when she devotes that sort of time and effort towards her family and her marriage not to mention the huge sacrifice only to find out that he is cheating, lying about you being a boring fat non-social lead weight to him and that he decided he doesn't want to be a dad anymore. He wants to trade it all in for a drinking at the bar social life with professional women sex goddesses who make as much as he does who never cared to have any kids and who are skinny as a rail because they don't eat anything but salads. You want to cry because you just know that there is some desperate half drunk lonely female out there who will be taken in by his charm and charisma just as you were and lose it all and be left behind just the same way too. He's a great lover and the thought of him being with another lover makes you want to throw up and somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder if he will call her your pet names and if he will use the sexual moves you taught him on her. Jealously, rage, plain old sick to your stomach feelings arise. I don't think I enjoy wallowing in this pain. Rather, I would do anything NOT to be in love with him anymore because he clearly isn't in love with me having treated me this way and traded me in like I was ready for the glue factory now that I hit fifty. I just feel so damned empty inside like I have no more to give anyone else ever again, nor do I ever again want to try to trust someone to have a relationship. This time was the charm and I realized the chances of finding real honest love out there are pretty slim in today's world. People are out for themselves to use and abuse. Some men like to use you up and then dump you for their own selfish needs. It is what it is, one big lie. Men are about money, sex, and how you look, not about the beautiful person you are inside or how loving and giving you are to them. They think with their lower anatomy and will tap every thing that moves if given the chance. I feel like the world's biggest joke and bust out though when I look in the mirror I see a very tired, yet beautiful intelligent woman who has been hurt beyond belief and who will never be able to love another man every again after all of this. And men wonder why women turn into bitches - now I know exactly why they do!

As I read this, my heart bled for this anonymous reader. I encourage her - and anyone who has been in her shoes (and I know the world holds many of you) - to read one of the articles on my website titled I Need You...I Need You Not from the July 2006 Newsletter.

I also encourage those of you who feel this way, no matter what your particular circumstances, to realize that relationship pain must serve a purpose other than simply to cause you pain, and make you feel bitter, and resentful, and to say to yourself that you will never be able to trust another human being again. Relationship pain must bring you to a new place of realization about yourself, a place where you recognize that ultimately we are all responsible for ourselves and our lives.

How, you ask can you be responsible for someone who behaves the way this woman's husband did, or for the things he brought about in her life? It's not that you should take responsibility for that, but for how you react to the things that he did. Here is where you can find greater growth and inner freedom. See also my February 2006 Newsletter Making Choices: Taking Responsibility For Our Lives. What happened is not my anonymous reader's fault, but how she now decides to live the rest of her life, and how she now decides whether this rest of her life is full of growth and ultimately joy, or not, is once again her choice, and her responsibility...no matter what he did. She can decide to move forward, or remain in her pain about his betrayals. It really is a choice and it can lead to great freedom and growth.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Do You Choose To Wallow in Relationship Pain?

Continuing with the theme of staying with anger, I thought we could look at relationship pain today. Imagine you and your partner broke up recently. You are dealing with it, and think you are on the road to recovery. You're driving in your car and the radio plays a song that makes you think of your partner. You wax nostalgic, and the nostalgia disintegrates into pain and sorrow, loss, deep, shattering loss.
Again, you've been reading the books, maybe even some portions of this blog, so you know what to do...you know you need to get yourself out of that place or you will fall into a deep black hole without a shadow of a doubt. And it may take you some time to find your way out of there. So you really know how important it is for you to leave this place in your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your energy, in order to attain a higher energetic vibration. But you don't want to.
It feels good. What? Didn't we say it hurts like hell? Yes, but it still feels good.

This is really the crux of the matter. We all need to recognize these moments - at whatever time of pain in our lives, whether it is anger, loss, anguish - moments when we deliberately choose to remain in the "bad" place, rather than choosing to go elsewhere. Only by becoming conscious of the strong pull of pain, by becoming conscious of Eckhart Tolle's pain body or the emotional body as Chris Griscom calls it, can we begin the process of extricating ourselves from that pull and finding inner freedom precisely by making the choice.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

But I WANT to Stay Angry!

So perhaps you've read some of my posts here or from my other blog (Rewiring the Soul), or some of thee articles in my monthly newsletter (subscribe here), and by now you know some techniques to use to keep yourself in a good place, or to bring yourself back up to a good place...and you're sitting in your car, and an idiot almost causes you to have an accident.

And while you're still trying to keep your cool about that, he races down the road behind you, practically kissing your tail end with his front bumper, and you notice you are close to losing it.

I mean, you have a right, right?

So then you think about what you've been reading here...and you tell yourself: "No way am I going to get my mind away from this now to feel better about it - I NEED to feel this anger and frustration; I WANT to feel it. The last thing I want to do right now is get away from this place in my mind, because I LIKE this feeling...at least for a bit".

This is actually simply another type of challenge you get presented with. Life is so great (at this point you may not want to agree). All these challenges bascially all serve the same purpose: your inner growth which leads to your inner freedom.

But, there you are on the road, raging inside, and the last thing you want to do is bring yourself away from the feeling. You are wallowing in it. Eckhart Tolle talks about the pain body as being the place - the painful place we go to, despite the pain, because we are so familiar with it. It's almost comforting in its painful familiarity. Kind of the way kids will cry themselves to sleep to comfort themselves.

So this angry place from which you just don't want to come away, is a version of that. All I'm suggesting is that you give this some consideration next time it happens and think about this. Maybe the pull will be less strong. Maybe you'll want to stay there less time. Maybe you'll decide to leave as soon as you realize what is happening. That's where freedom starts.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 

My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)

My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a subject that affects so very many people. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).
Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.
Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.
This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Becoming Aware

Publishing and writing a blog was not a sudden decision, but came after some hesitation, thought, encouragement from others, and finally conviction that it is the way to go! There is so much to be said about the process of achieving inner freedom, and there are such masses of us on this quest, that a blog about the subject doesn’t seem to be amiss.

Let me start this particular blog (my second ... my first is here: Rewiring the Soul) by encouraging you all to become aware of yourselves not only as human beings, but also as beings who vibrate to an inner purpose or mission, whatever that may be, and who, if that inner purpose or mission is not found, may realize that finding true joy in life becomes very difficult.

Wow! True joy…that is actually a biggie. We’re raised believing that others owe us joy and happiness…until we figure out that if it’s ever going to come from anywhere, it will have to come from inside, unless we want to live in a state of eternal external dependence. But for it to come from inside, that inside part first has to get worked on…cleaned out…polished…and so on. Doing that actually means working on everyday stuff. It’s not a case of high spiritual work, but of the actual day-by-day things: impatience, communication, anger, loving, giving, receiving, forgiving, opening up, listening, compassion, and so on.

I guess we often think that in order to grow, and in order to become more free, whatever it is we do has to have this high spiritual tone. Not so…as I see it…the high spiritual tone is actually set by working on these commonplace everyday things in our lives. That is where we can bring about the true inner change.