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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Imagine Life with no Bitterness or Resentment


I've often wondered if those people whose lives are filled with bitterness and resentment could just see for a moment in time what their lives would - could - be like without the bitterness and the resentment (and the ensuing pain), whether they would then take the step towards making the choice of putting the bitterness and resentment behind them.

Because that is really what it's all about ... making a different choice.

It's not so much about being compassionate towards the person (or institution) who did whatever it was to you; it's also not so much about letting by-gones be by-gones. Much more than that it's about recognizing that you can continue to identify with whatever it was that threw your life out of balance at some point in the past (yesterday, nine months, or a quarter of a century ago), and that caused much pain then, which is why the bitterness and resentment arose, or you can decide that you simply are no longer that person. That you choose to be a person without bitterness and resentment for you. For your own good. For your own inner freedom and growth. And particularly in order to make space inside of you. As you choose to turn your back on the bitterness and resentment, you no longer need to use up energy - psychic energy - (psychological energy) to keep up those feelings. So now your energy can be channeled towards totally different - life-giving - endeavours.

A wonderful example of this is demonstrated in the movie A Mighty Heart, the true-life drama about the kidnapping and eventual beheading, in 2002, of the Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, starring Angelina Jolie as Pearl's widow Mariane, and produced by Brad Pitt. The movie, based on Mariane Pearl's very powerful book by the same title, allows the viewer to experience first-hand how a person who has gone through such a tremendously traumatic and painful experience - one that most of us will never have to endure - has managed to not carry a heavy weight of bitterness and hatred.

How can you do this? As said, you can choose it. It is really that simple. A choice that you make. Of course, because you have long ingrained habits, at the beginning you will need to practice choosing this. The subject that has created the bitterness and resentment in you will arise over and over again in your head and you will need to make a different choice about where your thoughts go as soon as you become aware of the fact that you are thinking about this issue yet again. You don't shove it under the carpet. You simply say to yourself: ah, here I am again. I don't really like this place, so although I'm not yet sure how this whole thing is going to get resolved, just for now - just for today - I choose to focus elsewhere. Perhaps on nature. Perhaps you'll do some physical exercise. Perhaps on something inspirational. But if in the moment of the recognition of those familiar thoughts you have no time to do anything, you can simply look around for something of beauty, perhaps in the room where you find yourself, or look out the window and see the sky, a tree, etc. Focus on its beauty, feel gratitude for its presence in your life. This is enough to shift your inner state. And when the thoughts arise again, do the same again. over and over, and after some time the habit will have lost so much of its strength that you hardly think of it anymore. And when you do, it will be a simply case of refocusing - which by now you will have become an expert at - in order to move elsewhere with you thoughts and feelings. This is a choice. Start today.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

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