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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Games Your Ego Plays


I've always found the ego a fascinating subject. It keeps tripping us up and before we know it, it - the ego - is making decisions for us, instead of those decisions being made by us. For me - as well as many other authors - the ego is that part of you that makes you feel as though you have to be (or are) better than another, the part of you that makes you feel as though you have to prove you are right when having a talk (or angry discussion) with someone, or that part of you that continually compares, controls, criticizes, and judges. It diminishes, it divides, it separates. In my book Rewiring the Soul I wrote: "It gives undue vale to external things and situations, and above all, the ego manipulates - not only others, but especially you -when it causes you to believe that it - the ego - above all else, and especially more than you, knows what is good and right for you." The ego will often convince you to say or do something that you did not really intend to say or do, and in the end, you do not necessarily feel better when you have let the ego take over your mind and decision-making process.

But how can you tell when it is you talking and not your ego?

Here are some simple suggestions (and if you have not yet reached this stage, they are wonderful goals to try to begin to reach towards - when you give up the need to be right, many things change:

  •  It’s impossible to argue with you
  • You can keep your cool no matter what
  • Others come to realize that you know that your opinion – even though you may stick to it through thick and thin - is not more important than theirs. That goes a long way to improving communication
  • Your ego is no longer invested in proving anything to the other person
  • You feel great no matter what the other person decides to believe
  • You don’t need to convince anyone of anything, no matter how much you believe in it
  • You can keep your belief about whatever it is you are right about, but you don’t need to be bothered about proving it to the other person
  • No more power struggles
  • You give up the need to control others’ behavior, thoughts, actions and reactions
  • You know it is preferable for both to win, not just you

In a nutshell, your life becomes a lot easier – just like that!

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

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Note: My other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed. I generally post in each of these two blogs once a week. 

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