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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Are You Addicted to Feeling Good Through Others?


Isn't it wonderful when people make you feel good? When they do lovely things for you and show you how much they care for you? And isn't it true that your life is so much better when people treat you like that?

But what occurs when that doesn't happen? Imagine a relationship ends and you no longer get that kind of treatment. Isn't it probable that you will find yourself going through heavy withdrawal symptoms? Even when you don't miss the person with whom you no longer have the relationship? In other words, you miss the good feeling, but may not miss the person very much.

In such a case, you might be addicted to the good feeling you get thanks to others, and therefore need to supply that good feeling for yourself again by finding another person who gives it to you. At this point you might be asking yourself what I'm going on about ... isn't it true that we all search for the good feeling from our partners or from other people in our lives?

Truth be told, no. Not all of us. If we've learned to supply the good feeling for ourselves, then we can potentially have relationships with others (not only partners, but also friends, or family members), where we simply don't need them to supply it for us. In other words, the relationship does not depend on us being provided with this good feeling by the other. On the one hand it does not depend on that because we supply it for ourselves, and on the other hand, because we are not, therefore, addicted to receiving it from others.

This is fundamentally crucial for an aware, conscious, and healthy relationship of any kind. I've written a great deal about this, specifically in my book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership as well as in Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin, and in my blogs and monthly newsletter (subscribe here - no cost - English, Spanish, German). I encourage you to look at the subject more closely if you believe that you are addicted to feeling good through others. It was Jung who wrote: every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism", and in the case I've described here, being addicted to feeling good thanks to others who supply that feeling for you, will also have negative repercussions in your life.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


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DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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