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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Prison of Your Jealousy


Experiencing jealousy can be one of the most horrendous emotions man endures. Jealousy can rear its most ugly head at any time and under any circumstances and many who are familiar with it, will tell you that it just takes over, that they are no longer in control of themselves and that it has provoked them to behave in unspeakable ways.

And yet, countless numbers of individuals believe that jealousy is the sign that they are in love, and that without jealousy, real love does not exist. Nothing could be further from the truth. Jealousy is always the sign of an insecure person. Always. So rather than thinking of all the people you know that have exhibited jealous behavior, think of yourself. Do you get jealous? If so, how do you feel thinking about the fact that it might signify that you are insecure in some aspect of your life? Probably the aspect of your life that tells you how much you think you are worth. Otherwise, there would be little connection between jealousy and insecurity.

The individual who doubts his or her self-worth is insecure. That same individual will become jealous very swiftly if he/she believes that the partner is paying attention to someone else, because, it follows, if they feel insecure about their self-worth, they will soon begin to wonder if the fact that the partner is paying attention to someone else, means that the other person is more valuable.

Why am I hammering in this point? It's most certainly not to make you feel uncomfortable. Rather, it's to make you look at yourself in a way that perhaps you have not yet done. If you do so, you might begin to realize what your jealousy is all about and then you might begin to realize that you can actually do something about it - not by controlling your partner who provokes your jealousy - but by beginning to work on your own insecurities. Probably they begin with a tremendous lack of self-love. Potentially also poor boundaries (if your partner consistently humiliates you in public by flirting with another, while it is true that your partner needs to look at his/her own behavior, it is also true that you need to look at your boundaries. And note that poor boundaries are always linked to lack of self-love. Look on this blog, as well as on my other blog here (also check out the labels on the sidebars), and on my website's article page, in order to read further posts and articles about the subject of self-love and about what to do if it's lacking in you. Love yourself enough to do this.

It was Heinlein who wrote: love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other , or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.


Image: "Jealousy" by Tom Roberts

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


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DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhältlich als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhältlich sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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