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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Why Do You Only Love Those That You Love?


Love can be as broad or narrow as you make it. Love can be all-encompassing or elitist. Love can include everyone or only a select few. Love can be a choice. Love is not just chemistry and something that 'just happens', or something that has to do with family and close friends. Love - due to its potential magnitude and significance in our lives, its effect on our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, and growth is a subject I have written about frequently, and you can find numerous articles about it on my website and blogs.

Life is meant for the living (nothing new there), and living - really living - implies loving. Loving implies showing you love, which we all do in a myriad number of ways, by physical demonstrations, by kindnesses, by gentleness, by nurturing, by giving gifts, by giving help, by caring for someone in times of illness or ill fortune, by saying certain words and making certain gestures, by showing joy when we reunite with people we love whom we don't always see, by doing unexpected loving things for someone who is not always at our side, and so on.

We know all this ... so what's the point???

Do it.

That is the point. We know it all and yet we so often neglect to do it simply because we don't have the time, or we're tired, or something else comes in the way. And yet a loving smile or gesture can mean so much to the one who receives it.

Do it. Never stop doing it, show your love to those you love.

And you know, there is an added benefit...it makes you feel better too, and, according to all the studies I have mentioned in previous posts here and in articles discussing happiness on my website, the mere action of being loving gives you happiness as well.

But let's examine a much more vital point that you may wish to consider: if you have read my previous articles and posts about the concept of intertwined molecules, you may have come to realize that we are all indeed one ... humanity is not a mass of separate beings (rich, poor, black, white, first world, third world, young, old, good neighbourhood, wrong side of the tracks, and so on), but a mass of intertwined molecules ... we have cutting-edge quantum physics to thank for these insights, and that of course, begs the question: why only love those that we love?

If you think that is a strange question, consider that loving only those that you feel emotionally close to, automatically implies that all others are 'out there'; are 'others' - it's 'them' and 'us', and thinking in this manner will never ever lead us to any kind of common humanity, kindness and compassion, because it will always mean that it's the Palestinians against the Jews, or the Christians against the Arabs, or the Protestants against the Catholics, or white against black, or Socialist against Conservative, or Republican against Democrat, or the haves against the have-nots, or the young against the old, or the thin against the fat, or the educated against the college drop-outs, or those that managed to get themselves a membership in the country club against those that did not, or those that like opera, theatre, classic music, or art against those that do not, and so on. There will never be a true end to these differences that exist among us all in this global community if something drastic on a very fundamental level in each and every one of us does not change. It was Gandhi who said: be the change you wish to see in the world, and that is precisely what it is implicit in my article this month.

This is not an impassioned plea for some puerile and idealistic version of hippie love, but a cry for awakening. I'm not pretending that I have woken up and that you, who read this, need to do the same. We all need to wake up. If we want to change this world of ours, if we want peace, freedom, dignity, food, water, and education for all, it needs to begin with each of us. Instead of merely loving those with whom we have an emotional connection - instead of only loving those that we love - could we not begin to think more broadly and move ourselves into a new paradigm of what love really means? Could we not conceivably love all?

All it really requires is a slight shift in our thinking … and a willingness to do this.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

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