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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Monday, August 24, 2015

Reacting to External Things


Here's a quote that I love and which opened many windows and doors in me when I first read it in my teens, so it became an integral part of a collection of quotes that I have been carrying around with me for a good number of decades:

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (from Meditations)

What are things that are external to you that may stress you? Just about everything: your job, your partner, your mother-in-law, your children, your health, a conversation, your financial situation, daily traffic, bills, the weather, delays, not knowing how to do something, the news, you name it, ten to one it is external to you. So if it is external to you, your reaction to it is one that comes from inside of you. The reaction doesn't just happen because there is snarled traffic, it happens because you choose it, or allow it, or are blind to the fact that you even have a choice, and so what seems to be automatic to you (your reaction), is actually something you have a say about.

Your own estimate of it: you decide (even if you're not doing that on the fully conscious level) how you will think and feel about something and how you will react to it, because it is your estimate of it that makes it something negative or awful or terrifying or neutral or positive in your life. 


By choosing how you will react, by being in charge of your reactions, rather than allowing them to blow you about like a leaf in the wind, you gain inner freedom.

The first step - as always - is becoming aware. Being aware means you take note of your thoughts and reactions as they occur and you decide whether they are useful and good for you at that moment, and if they are not, you decide to have different thoughts and reactions. If you've never heard of this, it may sound ridiculous, or daunting, or impossible. Please take the time to have a look at some of the other posts about this subject on this blog by clicking on the labels at the bottom of this article for further information.

The second step is choosing to get yourself there. Without awareness and without choice nothing changes. Give yourself the gift of inner freedom.

Photo Credit: not sure to whom to credit the image, but I found it here

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Monday, August 10, 2015

Peace: No Matter What Your Activity


As I walked on the beach this morning - on the promenade - two joggers sped by me, and I overheard one of them saying to the other: "when I run, I forget about everything else and I feel so good". Obviously the next part of her comments was lost to me given the growing distance between us. However, it made me think.

I'm sure you've heard of getting in the zone and similar descriptions referring to losing yourself in the motion of the rhythm of your exercise. And I'm sure you've also heard that this sometimes happens even more strongly after you hit your second wind.

I believe this young woman that I overheard was so hyped on the content of her comment because she somehow realized that when she runs, she loses track of her ruminative thoughts; that when she runs, she somehow feels more peace than when she is not running - hence she feels good. And while all of this is true - at least for some people - I nearly turned around to run after the two joggers to let her know something of which she probably is not aware.

The mindset she achieves by running can be achieved at any point during your day - and you don't have to run to get it. So let me be clear, this post is not about whether you should do physical exercise or not, but about the fact that inner peace can be achieved at all times.

It does require exercise, however. Just not necessarily of the physical kind. Let me explain first that the reason our jogger 'forgets about everything else', in other words, her mind becomes a kind of blank, which is what makes her feel good, is because she has to focus on her running, her breath, her legs, her strength, and her endurance. All this focusing, as well as all the energy - both physical and mental - that she expends on achieving her goal: being able to run the distance she has set for herself, is what gets her into a kind of zone. It generally causes everything else to go away; i.e., her thoughts and the feelings that those thoughts cause, and hence - as said - she feels good. But what happens when she's done? When she stops running? Gradually - or even very quickly - her thoughts and the feelings associated with them come back. And so she does not feel as good. So she has come to the conclusion that it is the running which makes her feel good - which is what I overheard her say. One final point about physical exercise: of course it has the capacity to make you feel good. Of course it is good for you in general. As said, this post is not about that.

So what is the exercise I am saying you must do in order to achieve inner peace at any point during your day or your life?

You must exercise - or practice - being conscious and aware of yourself and your circumstances at all times. One very easy way to begin this, is to exercise - or practice mindfulness (see this post) - because mindfulness teaches you how to (and begins to create new neural pathways in your brain that help you to) remain present, aware, conscious, mindful. If you read that post, you will also see that feeling gratitude forms part of the exercise. You can see how it is all interconnected. And what happens when you are conscious and mindful is that you focus on the present moment as opposed to thoughts of past or future. This implies that your thoughts are not torturing you, nor are the feelings that arise with those same thoughts, causing you pain, anger, anguish, worry, stress, etc.

Being in the present moment is what our jogger is doing when she says: "when I run, I forget about everything else and I feel so good". Being in the present moment is what you can choose at will once you have exercised or practiced being conscious, aware, and mindful. Being in the present moment is what has the capacity to give you inner peace at any time. Being in the present moment is a gift you can give yourself by learning how to do it.

As always, you choose.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. Barnes & Noble and other reputable online booksellers carry my books as well.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch: German now available globally - see sidebar; Spanish - coming soon.

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Das erste meiner Bücher jetzt auf Deutsch erhaltbar: DEINE SEELE UND DU
Mis libros en español próximamente

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.


Thursday, August 6, 2015

Remember to Laugh!


So much serious stuff all the time. Find a meaning in your life ... seek inner growth ... watch for your inner freedom ... don't wallow in relationship pain ... and on and on.

But all the time what is also truly so very important is that we remember to laugh. And that doesn't just mean laugh as in hearing a funny joke, or as in watching a comedy, or laugh as in seeing a funny video of your relatives at a party, but laugh as in find the laughter inside of you, even when on the outside things don't look so great.

You've probably heard all the same stories the rest of us have, about Patch Adams (played by Robin Williams in the movie by the same name), the doctor who invented laughter therapy, and how much good it does people, or about Norman Cousins, the man who realized that he was not only able to temporarily alleviate his pain by watching comedies, but who wound up proving his doctors wrong who had said he only had a few months to live, and went on to live several decades. These people have shown the world that illness and pain, depression and other ailments can be ameliorated by laughter.

Laugh therapy has begun to become quite prevalent the world over ... private practices such as mine, group sessions, weekend retreats, etc., have sprung up ubiquitously in order to show people the benefits of laughter.

Blood flow, immune response, blood sugar levels, all appear to improve with laughter. While the jury is still out on a definitive answer, it does appear that we should not ignore the potential of laughter in our lives, not to mention how good it makes you feel to have a belly laugh.

So back to the inner laughter. The laughter that we should work on finding despite outer worries, concerns, and pain or disappointment. Use your emotions as a barometer (see my article about this subject) in order to raise your energy. Use your emotions to help you realize when you need to find your inner laughter. Begin to practice this on a daily basis in order to bring your life to other levels of joy and satisfaction. Your inner laughter is not only capable of keeping you healthy, but also capable of keeping you in a place of much greater and more constant joy than the way you possibly live now.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch: German now available globally - see sidebar; Spanish - coming soon.

 

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Das erste meiner Bücher jetzt auf Deutsch: DEINE SEELE UND DU
Mis libros en español próximamente

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.