WELCOME TO THIS BLOG


"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Monday, March 30, 2015

How Close Are You to Yourself?


Do you know yourself? Do you feel 'connected' to yourself? Do you have a relationship with yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you feel comfortable with yourself?

If you are in doubt about any of these questions, I would venture to suggest that your relationship with yourself is not entirely intimate in the way we consider our relationships being intimate with those we love (partners, parents, children, friends), with whom we are able to speak (hopefully) openly, with whom we feel comfortable, with whom we can relax, and with whom we feel very connected.

Some of the articles I've written about this subject are (free access to all, but you will need to sign up on the website):
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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Being close to yourself and having a relationship with yourself that could be classified as intimate is part of a healthy life - healthy on all levels and in particular psycho-emotionally and spiritually. It implies also being attuned to your body, listening to it when necessary and understanding that it often speaks wisdom to you, as do your heart and gut. True intimacy with others is only possible after you have learned how to enter into an intimate relationship with yourself.


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Crossing Life's Dark Forest


Symbolizing the journey of awakening and spiritual quest, many writers, thinkers, poets, and philosophers, as well as spiritual leaders have made direct or oblique reference to the dark forest. One of my favorites is this quote from Joseph Campbell (The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life and Works - note that this link appears to take you to a new edition, although my own copy was purchased in 1992 - there is also a DVD, but it's very short):

You enter the forest
at the darkest point,
where there is no path.

Where there is a way or path,
it is someone else's path.

You are not on your own path.

If you follow someone else's way,
you are not going to realize
your potential.

This point about needing to make your own path in order to realize your potential is something I find so incredibly lacking in many current gatherings of seekers. It is precisely in the crossing of the dark forest and as you do so, in the making of your own path, that you find yourself. Whether you listen to a friend, spouse, or parent, whether it's a pastor, priest, guru, or rabbi, whether you participate in support groups, satsangs, or weekly discussion groups, think about what you begin to believe, and follow, and search deeply inside to ensure that it is connected to you, and not just to the person who is telling you about it.

Clearly, at the beginning of your journey, and perhaps even later, at different points along the way, you may need to listen to many such speakers, read many books, and cross many desperately black places in your dark forest, before you can even begin to understand what your own path is all about. Beware of accepting too quickly what others espouse, and allow yourself time (and especially time to discover your own strength and courage) as you cross the dark forest. 

That path which you then forge, and that person whom you then discover and connect to within yourself, will greatly influence your behavior in your relationships, but again, if you don't have that path and you have not yet discovered who you are, to what extent do your relationships truly allow you to show yourself and be yourself? This path is very much a tao, and this tao leads to immense possibilities of growth and understanding, deepening and awakening.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Friday, March 20, 2015

Get Rid of Those Blinders!


Do you read magazines (online or print)? Do you watch television? Do you look at billboards? Are you on one or more social media sites? My guess is that almost everyone does at least one of these. It's rather obvious. But how much are you discerning that this is in fact, manipulating you, and more importantly, how much of it are you looking at with a measure of critical reasoning? The answer to that question may well determine your state of inner well-being.

FOMO (fear of missing out) is a term that sprang to life several years ago with regard to people's feelings as they 'watched' their FB friends' lives unfold (in apparently beguiling fashion) in front of their eyes on their monitors. FOMO has even garnered support groups for those who have become depressed due to the apparently more 'fun' or glamorous or popular lifestyles of those online friends. We may laugh. How silly, we may think.

How about this: you watch that reality TV show and feel worse afterwards because you have not yet managed to buy such a mansion, or have such a body, or carve out such a lucrative, celebrity life-style for yourself. We may laugh. How silly, we may think.

What about those glossy magazines or tabloid newspapers (sometimes even disguised as serious press with their occasional articles about subjects not pertaining to gossip) you look at? Those amazing ads with those amazingly young people in them with their amazing looks and amazing clothes, all telling you that if only you buy that cream, or this perfume, or that article of clothing, or that suitcase, or handbag, or briefcase, you will also - just like those people laid out so seductively on the photo spread - live such a lifestyle. We may laugh. How silly, we may think.

And yet, I wager that most of us have been there and felt that. Our culture, our mass media, our very way of living wraps sticky tentacles of desire around us. We may have sprung back very quickly, realizing what it does to us, and decided not to go down that road, or it may have taken us longer to recognize the dangers and eventually remove the blinders, or we may have found ourselves deep in that hole of envy, desire, depression, feeling bad about ourselves, or desperate yearning for something that we don't know how to fulfill.

Understand that what speaks to your mundane or outer self will rarely give you the satisfaction and joy that something different, that speaks to your eternal or inner self is capable of doing. The place where you will find inner well-being, peace, happiness, harmony, and freedom, will almost never come from that which is out there, with empty promises of being or having more than others. Remove those blinders and start looking inside yourself for all that so far you have deluded yourself into believing you can find out there.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Regrets


Wayne Dyer wrote (or said in a seminar) quite a long time ago: don't die with your music still in you.

Imagine, I read when I was much younger, sitting on a rocker when you're quite old, thinking about all the things you never did and about all the people you never loved. I remember my blood ran cold at the image. Imagine, it went on, regretting not having done so many of the things you would have liked to have done, but that you didn't because they scared you, or because you didn't know the outcome, or because you thought there was a chance you might fail, or that others would look at you in pity because you had not been successful. I felt lead in the pit of my stomach as I read that. Imagine, I read, sitting on that rocker and going over all the things you never did because you told yourself that you had no time, or that they were silly for someone of your age or station in life, or whatever, to do. I shivered. Imagine, I read, sitting in that rocker and feeling all that regret.

And now I ask you, who read this: imagine not only that - because at least in that scenario you are sitting in a rocker and physically comfortable despite your inner pain - but imagine that you are lying in bed, your body riddled with a terminal disease that will not let you go, or sitting in a wheelchair, quadriplegic, with no more possibility of movement, and you have those same regrets.

Don't let that happen. Don't die regretting everything you did not do. Venture now. Make the most of this life that you have to live. Love now. Dare now. Live now.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Monday, March 16, 2015

Finding Your Motivation When It's Gone


You've been working on a project or goal. You've done all kinds of things to get to that final point, but it just never quite works, so now you've lost your motivation and you're on the verge of giving up.

Losing motivation can be numbing, because it's as though you've lost your way and you no longer know what your next step is. Not knowing what your next step is, stops you in your tracks and it seems you can no longer see the forest for the trees.

So you have several choices:
  • You can either stay in the place your lack of motivation has brought you to

  • or you can figure out how to get your motivation back
If you decide to take that latter alternative, you might first take a look at some notable failures in history, who nevertheless kept going on and on:
  • Thomas Edison who discovered 1000 ways not to make a lightbulb until he finally succeeded

  • Abraham Lincoln, President of the USA, failed over and over and over again to achieve his goals, consistently picked himself up and continued going, believing in himself, his goals, and the reasons why they were important. He said: I never had a policy, I just tried to do my best every day.
  • Gary Cooper, the actor whose career culminated in the classic High Noon, but before he made it big, he was fired and rehired by the studios seven times.
  • Neil Diamond, the singer (Sweet Caroline), dropped out in his senior year to take a songwriting job with a music-publishing company. "It was a chance to step into my career," he explains. The job lasted only four months. Eventually, he was fired by five other music publishers. After eight years of knocking around and bringing songs to publishers and still being basically nowhere, he met two very successful producers and writers who liked the way he sang. And only then did he begin his real climb to fame and success.
  • Dune by Frank Herbert: this epic science-fiction tale was rejected by 13 publishers with comments like "too slow," "confusing and irritating," "too long," and "issues too clear-cut and old fashioned." But the persistence of Herbert and his agent, Lurton Blassingame, finally paid off. Dune won the two highest awards in the science-fiction writing and has sold millions of copies, and the movie rights to the novel.
  • Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he finally succeeded.
So ask yourself: even though I have lost my motivation, is it possible for me - just for today - to do my very best?

Here is a wonderful analogy I read pertaining to flying. Imagine a plane taking off from London. Its destination is New York, and along the way it veers slightly off course, or from its pre-determined flight path, and it does this over and over and over again. Clearly the instruments constantly make minor adjustments and re-adjustments during the flight in order to actually be able to reach New York.

This is such a pertinent analogy for us, as we move along the path towards our goals. We have to realize that when we lose our motivation, it is partially because we have not yet seen our dreams realized. Therefore, and in order to become re-motivated, we need to do the same as the plane - we need to re-adjust (as did Edison each time he invented another of the 1000 lightbulbs that did not work, as did Lincoln each time he was not successful in standing for public office).

And then, we need to keep on re-adjusting as often as necessary.
  • this technique didn't work? Try a different one.

  • that advertising program didn't work? Try a different one.
In order to do this, you may need to re-visit your original goals:
  • what did you write down when you first conceptualized them?

  • maybe you didn't write them down ... do so now!

  • maybe you weren't specific enough ... so do it now!

  • write down your main goals as specifically as possible. Let's say you have a 5-year goal.

  • so now sub-divide it or chunk it down into yearly goals, i.e., where you should be at the 4-year mark, the 3 year, the 2 year, and the 1 year mark

  • from the one year mark, chunk it down, by going back by month

  • the 12-month mark

  • the 11-month mark, etc.

  • and when you get to the 1-month mark, chunk it down by going back by weeks

  • the 4-week mark

  • the 3-week mark

  • and when you are at the 1-week mark, write specifically what you can be doing each and every day this week.

  • think of it a bit like the 12 steps in AA - while you are working on getting your motivation back, take it one day at a time, and do what you've written as your tasks and goals for this day. Paul McKenna calls action the great equalizer.

  • help yourself get back on track by continually reading books or listening to CD's by authors who motivate you, such as Brian Tracy, Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield, Denis Waitley, Zig Ziglar, Vic Conant, Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, John deMartini, Napoleon Hill, and many more.
RECESS

When you were in grade school, and you attended a class of spelling and another one of math, what happens?
  • you're tired

  • your fingers are stiff from holding the pencil

  • you're looking longingly out the window at the sky - the blue, blue sky - because you want to be out there playing, rather than working
Wheb you're not motivated, you may need a break. Perhaps a walk, or a visit to the gym, maybe a catnap, o a cup of tea, but more importantly than that, you may need to take stock of your emotions.

You've lost your motivation in the past because what you've been doing - trying to reach your goal - has not yet given you the results you sought.

But the other part of your loss of motivation has to do with the thoughts and feelings you've been having about the subject. They have probably been negative, contrary, with a concentration on failure as their mainstay. Here is where you need to swivel, or pivot, as Abraham calls it.

As a child you may have stood on the heel of one foot and swiveled or pivoted in such a way that you were looking in a totally new direction, you had turned 180 degrees by the act of pivoting. You can do this in your mind when your motivation has gone down the tube. Pivot to something - in your thoughts - that makes you feel good ... whatever that may be. Imagine something that gives you a sense of joy, pleasure, etc., you will notice the tingling inside of you, and use that good feeling to get back on track. In other words, if you first make yourself feel good, you will find it much easier to get back on track and motivate yourself, than if you try doing this from a low place. More about this in future posts.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Thursday, March 12, 2015

Four Tips to Deal With the Vicious Circle in Your Head


Your thoughts are your vicious circle. They keep going around and around. Especially when something has upset you. And in the process of going around and around, you generally feel even worse. Nothing gets resolved, but you notice that your emotional state has worsened at each step of the vicious circle's way.

These tips that will help you deal with this vicious circle of thoughts are quite easy to implement if you choose to follow them and continue following them, when the thoughts re-emerge. Nothing will change if you try it once and then decide that because the thoughts do pop up again, the process has not worked. Remember: when you learned how to ride a bike, you probably fell off a couple of times first.

Tip 1: Become aware of the fact that you are having ruminating, revolving thoughts about a subject that is making you feel incrementally worse. Without this awareness, you will not be able to 'grab hold' of your thoughts, so to speak, in order to do something about them. In order to be aware, you may need to put up reminders for a few days, that jolt you into awareness: a few post-it's, perhaps, each saying: what am I thinking? 

Tip 2: Now that you have your thoughts at the front of your head, so to speak, because you have remembered to be aware of them, ask yourself if you wish to continue ruminating. Let's imagine it's a health problem. Or work-related. Or financial. Or your relationship is rocky. All are major issues that many of us go through, but no matter how important they are, if you allow them to dictate your thoughts into toxicity, you will only make matters worse. So recognize that one thing is to give some predetermined 'proactive time' to your thoughts in order to see whether the problem can be solved, perhaps by brain-storming, researching, consulting with someone, but then, once that proactive time is over (and you will need to tell yourself each day how long you allow yourself to PROACTIVELY (not in a toxic way) think about this issue), then you need to agree with yourself that ruminating, worry-filled, fearful and stressful thoughts about that particular subject are no longer allowed today. So in this second tip what needs to be done, each and every time the thoughts rise up in you (and they will), is some method of changing that well-worn rut in your brain - that habit - that neural pathway, to a new one. A very simple way to do this is to focus on beauty, for example, notice a beautiful plant, or tree, or the sky, or clouds, or an animal in your surroundings. Then allow yourself to be grateful for that beauty in your life right now, as you focus on it, and really see its beauty, and then notice a mild sensation of peace in your solar plexus. This occurs because just for a moment you have moved yourself from past or future time to now time, and while you are present in now time, you can't focus on past or future fears, pains, and worries.

Tip 3: At this point, after tip #2, you may feel marginally better, but since you probably have little practice at doing this, you will need something else, to keep your mind in a better place than in that vicious circle of thoughts. On my other blog Rewiring the Soul  you will find a list of links on the right sidebar if you scroll down far enough. In there, you will find many suggestions of sites that offer motivating or inspiring talks, articles, videos, etc. Even if you choose something that is an hour or longer, just sit and listen or watch or read for 10 or 15 minutes. This will help you not only keep the thoughts at bay, but begin to create new neural pathways that will help you do this more easily each time you try.

Tip 4: Finally, when the thoughts come again, as they will (at least for a time), repeat the above process. If you can't afford to do the third step each time due to the activity you are engaged in (work, home, family, etc.), at least do the first two steps, and then, as you engage in the activity you have at hand, try to be as mindful while you do so, as possible. In other words, do that activity - whatever it is - and keep your mind on it, as oppsed to allowing your mind to go off to where you normally permit it to go. SO if you are washing the dishes, focus on that. If you are gardening, focus on that. If you are writing a report for the CEO of your firm, focus on that. If you are studying, focus on that, If you are writing a term paper, focus on that. If you are driving to a specific destination, either focus on the beauty around you, or if you believe there is none, and if you have prepared for this drive - even if it is only five minutes long - listen to a portion of one of the motivational talks I referred to earlier. This too will begin to change your brain and will help you feel better than if you engage in the activity plus ruminate. There is a great deal of material about this in both my blogs, on my website in the newsletter articles, as well in all of my books. I encourage you to give it a try. Learning to do this is not hard, and it can literally change your life.

Image: Labyrinth in City Park, Barcelona

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

One Huge Tip For Dealing With Heated Arguments


Arguments come about - evidently - because we disagree with another person or several persons or many others. Why? We want to demonstrate that we are right. We want to prove that we are right.  Needing to be right is the ego (a part of our psyche) trying to make us lose sight of peace, love and truth. Giving Up the Need to Be Right is an entire article about this subject. 

But in today's post, I simply want to prevail on you to keep your eyes on truth. In a marriage or love relationship if we are not aware of ourselves - without awareness of ourselves - as the heat of an argument escalates, it will be impossible to keep our eyes on anything other than our need to be right. Therefore, needing to be right is all we focus on if we are not remaining aware and conscious. This means - simply put - that our chances for resolving in a spirit of peace, love, and truth are low, as opposed to the very high chances we would have to achieve that if we remain aware. Publius Syrius very rightly said: In a heated argument we are apt to lose sight of the truth, but if he had added that by remaining aware this has excellent chances of not occurring, he would have been even more correct.

I choose to assume that you are very interested in maintaining a high level of peace, love and truth in your relationships. In that case, how much practice are you putting into remaining aware at all times?

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Friday, March 6, 2015

Life With Doubt


Perhaps you thought that as soon as you took the path you believed you had to be on, the path that would take you to your destiny, the path that is your path, that you would no longer have any doubts.

The Buddha said: There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

So welcome to the real world. Goethe stated: We know accurately only when we know little, with knowledge, doubt increases. Doubts may assail you at every step of the way. Just because you believe in your path, does not mean doubts will not come knocking at your door. They may even be rather less polite and attempt to tear your door down. Thunderbolts and lightning may be thrown at your door and the rattling and thumping may lead you into fear. However, precisely because these doubts come knocking in an attempt to to throw you off your path, you have the opportunity to renew your vows, so to speak, to re-evaluate and convince yourself anew in the realization that this - whatever it is that you are doing and striving for - is indeed your path, and that no doubts will throw you off.

In this sense, doubts can be your friends. Gibran wrote: Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that fiath is his twin brother. As they arise, examine them dispassionately. Compare them with your dreams and goals. Evaluate and perhaps you may need to alter your bearings slightly. Even a jet on automatic pilot will make adjustments, depending on the wind and storms outside, but it will, weather notwithstanding, reach its final destination. As you can. Use your doubts wisely and you will find that they make you stronger and lead you more firmly towards your goal.

Doubt is the father of invention. Ambrose Bierce

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Your Reaction To Things



Your reactions say a lot about you and your chances for living a content and satisfied life. Your reactions have little or nothing to do with what actually happens and all or almost everything to do with your choices.

In order to come to a place inside of you where you are capable of choosing a reaction rather than being reactive, or reacting blindly, it is of prime importance to be aware of yourself. Without awareness, it is almost impossible to be in a position to choose.

Imagine for a moment leaving your home 10 minutes later than you should have, and so reacting by becoming more and more stressed. Your commute is on a crowded freeway, you are obviously in a hurry to get to work, and some asinine idiot in front of you almost provokes an accident. Add now to your already stressed frame of mind, your anger at this person's carelessness...your logical reaction to a typical driving situation.

So, stressed and angry, you now head for the Starbuck's just around the corner from your place of employment to get the large lowfat latte so that at least with that you have a moment of respite, but a new employee is being trained, and so your wait time is double what it normally is, and your impatience bubbles up as you pay and make a less than polite comment about the lack of efficiency of the management of the place to be training new personnel at such a time of day.

Stressed, angry, and impatient, you now arrive in your office, and your secretary tells you that your immediate superior has been asking for you for ten minutes...and of course, you are ten minutes late due to all of the above. As it is the second time you've been late this week, and as unfortunately your supervisor became a witness to it the last time as well, you now add worry to your list of reactions that are causing your day to go rapidly downhill.

And it's only 8:40 in the morning.

How could this scenario - this very common scenario - look different with some awareness? (Remember, awareness allows choice).

As you leave the house ten late minutes and feel the stress rising, you could have a brief mental conversation with yourself. You could tell yourself that becoming stressed might put you into greater danger on the crowded freeway, that becoming stressed would simply raise your adrenaline levels and make you feel even worse, and that you do, in fact, have a choice about it. That you can choose an alternative to stress, and that is to accept the fact that you have left 10 minutes too late and that all you can do is go with the ride (apart from determining not to do this again tomorrow), listen to some soothing music, or a motivational CD by one of your favorite speakers (as I advocate in many of my articles), and get yourself to work as safely and in an as expedited manner as possible.

As the careless driver almost causes an accident, you again can choose your reaction. Is it necessary to get angry? Will things be better if you get angry? No, but wouldn't you get angry if someone were so careless on such a busy road? Isn't it natural to get angry? Well, it may be natural simply because that is the reaction of most people who are unaware, but it is not your best choice. And this article is about showing you how your choices make up your morning, your day, your week, your year, your life, and so if you can choose alternatives that contribute to your well-being rather than feeling awful, then wouldn't you say that those choices are wise and eminently effective? So in this case of getting angry, choose rather to be grateful that nothing did indeed happen, and that you can continue on your way to the office. Or choose to simply ignore the incident, saying to yourself that it is not worth losing your state of well-being over someone so careless. You see how this works?

Your impatience with the new employee (or the training personnel) who is valiently trying to get you your latte could be shelved in a similar way: what do I gain by becoming impatient? I feel worse and worse. Will it get me to my office more quickly? Obviously not. So what is the point? I might just as well be peaceful within myself and wait. (Careful - I am not advocating allowing others to trespass your boundaries. If something unacceptable happens, you will need to speak up. But speaking up still does not imply going to a place inside of you where you no longer feel good...it simply means respecting yourself enough to speak up about the situation...for more on this see articles about boundaries on my website.

Finally, your worry about your supervisor's potential reaction to your tardy arrival at the office is also not productive. It will put you into a more negative frame of mind prior to your meeting with this person, and therefore your reactions in conversation with him or her may be less effective than if you continued to be in a positive frame of mind. So again, have a conversation with yourself. Is the worry of any use? No. (It might be useful to wake up a bit earlier every morning in order not to have this escalation of circumstances). Therefore the best attitude will be to face the potential music, have a plan in mind to indicate how you will ensure this will not happen in future, and you may be surprised to note that when you do meet with your supervisor in this more positive frame of mind that you have deliberately chosen from a menu of choices, that the conversation is not about your late arrival at all, but about a new advertising campaign you will be working on...

Your reactions to things, events, words, actions of others, etc., determine the quality of your life. From a position of self-awareness choose those alternatives that contribute to your well-being, and that will therefore raise your energetic frequency, and improve the overall quality of your life.

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.


Monday, March 2, 2015

Soaring With Eagles


Are there eagles in your life? Do you regularly soar with eagles? Do you see life from the heady vistas that they do? Are you aware of the perspective they are able to have? If not, you might like to spend some time gathering a number of eagles around you.

What do the people you habitually spend time with talk about? Are their conversations filled with what excites you, or does it leave you cold, or bore you? What books do they read? What subjects are they interested in? What movies or television programs do they enjoy? What type of activities - professional, social, physical, intellectual, academic - do they participate in? And perhaps most particularly, what ethical, moral, and spiritual guidelines do they adhere to?

Do they live congruent lives? Do they walk their talk? Do they have far horizons that keep them moving? Are they persistent, dedicated, and proactive? Are they kind, compassionate, and loving? Do they aspire to more - on those many levels that go far beyond mere material consumption?

Those that do most, or at least a good part of the above, those that talk about ideas and aspirations (as opposed to about other people), those that seek to enrich themselves and their lives by virtue of what they discuss, read, listen to, and watch, and those who do indeed walk their talk, are the eagles you might care to surround yourself with. Have a look around you. They're there, within reach. But you may need to stretch yourself and your life a bit more before you can soar in their company. It was Barry Gottlieb who said: If you want to soar with eagles, you need to associate with eagles!

Associate with eagles!

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now also out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Spanish & German - coming April 2015)

  

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram


Meine Bücher auf deutsch April 2015 / Mis libros en español abril 2015

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf deutsch: Wiedervereinigung mit der Seele (Blog hier), werden meine Bücher auf Amazon ab April 2015 erhaltbar sein.

Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en Amazon en español en todo el mundo a partir de abril 2015.