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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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Thursday, December 4, 2014

Patience As Your Daily Practice


Some years ago I decided I needed to eliminate complaints from my life. Obviously it was a process to do so and it didn't happen overnight. I found great pride and eventually even joy in this process and realized that part of that pride and joy had to do with the fact that I was "growing" myself, and that at least in this regard, my growing was fully impulsed by myself and my willingness to choose to regard and accept daily situations as they arose as opportunities to practice not complaining.

Since then I have elected to also work on other aspects of myself that I felt needed improving: criticizing, judging, negative thinking, gossiping, needing to be right, and being impatient, to mention only those that pop into my head as I write this.

You probably already guess what I'm going to state next: this work on myself has not only allowed me to feel increased pride and joy in myself, but it has also shown me how we are all a work in progress. As soon as I felt that one of those heavy and very unattractive bags I had been carrying around with me was getting lighter, I found another bag that I could also work on lightening by beginning to discard the black coals that were inside it.

And clearly something else was going on. It's not that I was ridding the sacks entirely of their load, but enough that it became very easy for me to recognize the moment I took one of them up again. This happened because as long as I did not have that particular sack on my shoulders - for example the criticizing one -  I felt lighter. But if at a given moment I began to criticize, I felt the heaviness. That means that I can quickly - and quite easily - choose to not continue with that particular load and let go of it - I.e., not criticize. But that only happens because I've been consciously working on lightening the load of all those sacks, otherwise I wouldn't have had the sufficient ability to be aware enough to notice the sudden increase in weight when I began criticizing again.

This implies that as you (or I) continue to work on those different aspects of yourself, it's not that you will rid yourself of it all - you may even note that some elements continue popping up over many years - but you will improve those bits enough that you become aware almost immediately when they do pop up. This gives you enormous and ever-increasing freedom to see how much you can be in charge of your inner life.

And thus you make of this - ridding yourself of complaining, or criticizing, or being impatient - a daily practice.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

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