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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Big Picture Vs Small Picture


As you stand back to look at a situation from the distance, or in retrospective, using time as your lens, you often see what you are unable to see if you are sitting in the middle of it all. Nothing new there. But what you do with this knowledge that - as said - is not new, may make all the difference in the quality of your life.

Imagine a quarrel. With a friend, a family member, a colleague, etc. The quarrel involves differences of opinion about something. That means there are two elements at the very least: first the different opinions (I am right - you are wrong, which tends to be an ego issue), and second, whatever the quarrel is about (religion, politics, money, love, honor, respect, etc.). As long as you stand very close to these two elements of the quarrel, you see only that, and therefore you are blinded to further ramifications. What's more, you just might be peripherally aware of them, but because you are standing right in the middle of everything, you don't really care. Basically you want to push your agenda. Period. There is much self-righteousness in that. And a lot of it is ego.

If, however, you stand further away, you see a much bigger picture. You see the potential consequences of pushing your agenda (creating an insurmountable distance between you and the other person; losing a friend or other loved one; even simply knowing that the range of subjects you will be able to choose from for your conversations with this individual is becoming more and more narrow, in order to avoid the hot spots in the future, etc.).

Of course it is true that some of this may involve boundary issues, and it is very clear that these must be respected and upheld. But if both sides were to be open to recognizing the truth of what this post contains, this could be discussed in ways that would eventually lead to harmony and mutual respect.

Differences of opinion do not signify that people can't get along well. They simply need to respect those different opinions. But when other factors enter the picture, such as boundaries that have been trespassed, or a lack of respect and mutual consideration, then - long before the respect and mutual consideration are addressed - and if the big picture is being observed, both parties would ideally first ask themselves: what is my ultimate goal? Do I want to show that I am right, or do I wish to continue in this friendship or relationship?

When questions of that nature form part of the big picture, harmony can be sought, and once re-established, all the other issues can be examined, but from another position that does not involve the two individual egos. Is being right more important than re-establishing peace? And does this not apply to our little interpersonal relationships as well as to all countries in our global community?

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Adversity: How You Think About It Can Make or Break You


Lives without adversity may exist in fairy tales, but as a matter of fact, it is precisely also in myth and fairy tales where as children we begin to 'deal' with adversity in the guise of the wicked witch, the evil stepmother, the cruel king, the three-eyed cyclopean monster, the fire-breathing dragon, to name just a few of those symbols of adversity that populated our imagination in childhood. Bruno Bettelheim, in his (very Freudian) The Uses of Enchantment, refers us to this 'learning' aspect of fairy tales, and Joseph Campbell, in many of his works, but perhaps more than others, in his The Hero With a Thousand Faces and in the DVD The Hero's Journey, gives voice to the fact that myth and fairy tale are merely analogies for our own heroic journeys throughout our life trajectories.

So let me ask: how do you think about adversity? Is it something to be 'gotten through' and 'overcome'? Is it something from which you have to distract yourself? Is it automatically something that will make you suffer?

Or is it a magnificent learning experience where you are given the opportunity (if you so choose) to be the hero of your own life? You see, the disparity in those two points of view, makes all the difference in how greatly you will suffer during the process. Adversity with a purpose that leads to understanding and growth, and to greater dimensions of the self as a well-rounded human being, and that further leads you to greater connection with yourself, and to caring more for yourself as you go through the adversity, is adversity well-used. The other kind is merely torture of varying degrees. You choose.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Friday, October 24, 2014

Electing to Live Now


The other day I caught myself thinking about my next vacation. For several seconds I was counting the weeks - until I realized what I was doing: I was in the process of in some fashion discounting or throwing away the intervening weeks between now and then because of how much I was looking forward to that vacation time. In some way it signified that all my now moments between now and then were worth less than the actual time I would be on vacation, and so you could say that I was discarding - as though it were rubbish - a bit of my life.

Think about it: the importance you give something of this nature may mean the difference between a lackluster life sprinkled with high moments, or a life that is always as good as possible in every moment.

Then I remembered telling a friend as we drove to my supermarket, that the reason I chose to go to that particular branch as opposed to one that is in fact quite a bit closer to my house, is because of the joy I experience during the drive to the one I do go to. There's joy in my ride (rain or shine) because the scenery is so beautiful on my way there, the road curves gently, it goes up and down small hills and valleys, and makes me feel I'm out on a weekend mini road trip, when in fact I'm just going to the supermarket.

But here's what's important about this: the joy keeps me in the present. It would be impossible for me to fully appreciate that striking scenery if I were lost in thought, and it would also be impossible to feel the degree of joy I give myself by choosing that particular route and choosing to be present.

Another point to consider with respect to being present is how much time you spend every day wishing something were not as it is. How often do you do this? It might be something as simple as wishing it were sunny instead of raining, or as important as wishing you did not have a major illness. However, either way, it uses up precious moments, sets you on a train of thought that may lead you down a very murky path indeed, and more importantly, it squanders crucial energy that determines your inner well-being, not to mention, the number of minutes, hours, days, perhaps even weeks and months (over the course of a lifetime) that you waste engaging in this very fruitless activity.

Just as with so many other things discussed in my books, articles, and blog posts, this too is a question of awareness. Remembering to be conscious is truly a full-time job. In this case, it is a question of catching both the feeling (which will not be optimal when you are wishing something away), and the thoughts related to that feeling, and consciously, with full awareness, choosing to focus elsewhere. This could be as simple as focusing on something of beauty and feeling gratitude for it, because such a simple process takes you to the present moment, and wishing something away cannot happen if you are in the present. Choose to be aware enough to be able to do this. It improves the quality of all the moments of your life in which you choose to be aware, and it is another way of showing yourself that you love yourself.

Finally, you can also look at giving priority to being present from another point of view. A friend recently spoke to me about driving for an hour or so. She had chosen to think of something that interests her during this period of time - in order to not waste time, and in order to avoid listening to inane radio shows or just music. And what she had been thinking about was indeed quite an appealing topic. But shortly before telling me this, she had mentioned that one of her goals was to create greater mindfulness in her life.

So of course I asked her to think back to that one-hour drive. What had she seen as she drove? What beauty had she become aware of? Obviously she had been oblivious to most of her surroundings during the drive.

We do that. We believe we should not waste our time at any time - especially if we are normally highly productive people who pride ourselves on our efficiency, intellect, multi-tasking skills, and competence. So we will carve out moments that could in fact add to time consciously spent in the present, and instead use them for another activity - generally thought-generated - and believe we have been highly effective in the use of our time.

Yet I've come to understand and believe that this use of our 'free' time (in the sense that time spent driving the car is free of other duties) is less than optimal. Years ago I would have congratulated this individual on time well spent. Now I think it is time used for purposes that -while certainly better than listening to inane radio programs - it is time that could have been spent honing mindfulness skills and benefiting from the fact that such skills improve the quality of your life.

One caveat: if you are in the midst of a problem or issue in your life, you might decide that a portion of the drive (or other free time) could be utilized to brainstorm with yourself about the subject. But the other portion of that time would be spent on perfecting and creating greater mindfulness in your life. More than most other things that you could potentially do with such time, mindfulness will bring with it greater benefits for you and the quality of your life. Choosing mindfulness is something only you can decide to do.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Tending Your Inner Garden


Clients have often tell me that they fear being by themselves; that they fear their own company; that they will do anything to avoid an evening on their own. Others tell me that while they may not fear being alone, they find it a most boring proposition, and can’t quite imagine how to fill the time, other than with TV or a book. Still others refer to being uncomfortable in their own company, and hence, avoid it

All three alternatives lead us to the same conclusion: if this is how you feel about being alone with yourself, somehow you are not connected to yourself – and - more importantly, you have no real relationship with yourself, and therefore, probably don’t know – and worse – don’t love yourself.

The article discusses how to recognize this is happening and how to begin to change it in order to increase inner well-being, peace, freedom and joy.

Why is this important?

Imagine marrying someone whom you fear being alone with, someone whom you avoid spending an evening with on your own. Imagine marrying someone you find so boring, that you would not want to spend time alone with them. Or imagine marrying someone in whose company you feel uncomfortable, and therefore, you avoid this person.

Sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it? You’d run ten miles before marrying such a person. You’d do anything not to have to spend time with such a person. Nevertheless, that’s the situation we have with ourselves when we don’t recognize the value and importance of establishing a relationship with ourselves that makes us enjoy our own company, find ourselves interesting companions about whom we can always learn something new, and who can always lead us to deeper and deeper levels of understanding, and who is fun and exciting to be with … on our own.
  
Really? Is such a relationship with the self really possible? It basically comes down to what Jung termed the conjunctio, in other words the meeting of two separate parts of the self (generally unconscious) in the process of becoming a whole, or of uniting, and in so doing, of transforming.

But that actually sounds like a lot of psycho-babble. Who can contemplate overcoming what sounds like such a difficult hurdle? Anyway, who has the time and money to go into therapy in order to learn about all these things, and explore the deep dark past of one’s childhood? In actual fact, it is not so hard, and it certainly doesn’t depend on whether or not you go into therapy. It has a lot to do with becoming conscious and aware of the self, with a desire for knowledge of the self, and with the acceptance of responsibility for the self. So basically it has a lot to do with how interested you are in yourself.

Jung, who brought us the idea of the integral, or holistic human being, said that becoming what we can truly be, growing into that which is inherently in us when we are born, is what the process of individuation is all about.

Maslow, who brought us the hierarchy of needs said that in order to self-actualize, we need to become everything that we are capable of becoming.

Joseph Campbell said we should follow our bliss.

All of these concepts refer in some way to self-knowledge, but also to meaning. One can only be bored in one’s own company, if there is no meaning in the life; if the individual has not yet bothered to think about what meaning he or she could give to his or her life. The scope of this article does not allow me to delve more deeply into the significance you give your life, but I do encourage you to explore it in order to begin to understand how to find the meaning in your own life.

Fear of Being Alone with the Self

If you fear being alone with yourself, perhaps you feel there is so much in you that you hate, or despise, or judge, or criticize; that it is simply a very dangerous proposition to spend time there, together with yourself. In other words, it is scary to be with someone towards whom you have these very negative feelings. So doesn’t it make sense to get to know this person that you are inside and out, and to clean out, if necessary, all those parts that are reprehensible, or, even better, to come to realize that there are actually no really truly reprehensible parts, and that you are, in fact, a rather enjoyable person to be with? But this is only possible if you take the journey inside in order to begin to get to know yourself, more importantly, in order to begin to love yourself.

Many of the difficult feelings you may have about yourself can be addressed by using your “energy barometer”. Shifting your energetic vibration, in other words, consciously, and in full awareness, making yourself feel better by continually gauging where you are on that inner level, will automatically take you to other, higher levels where your thoughts and feelings about yourself will change. On those other, higher levels, it is so much harder for negative or low energy thoughts to find a breeding ground. When you are feeling good, how often do you dwell on downward-spiraling thoughts? When you are feeling good, you don’t want to cry. So shifting your energetic vibration to a higher level is something I encourage you to start practicing every single day, each and every time you recognize that you are spiraling downward.

Being Uncomfortable with the Self

If you are uncomfortable with yourself, it may have much to do with the fact that you have simply not much knowledge of yourself, and so feeling uncomfortable is similar to how you feel with a comparative stranger, about whom you know little, and who therefore does not create the sensation of ease and comfort a good friend does. Doesn’t it make sense to try to become your own best friend? Again, in so doing, you will begin to not only appreciate yourself, but also like and love yourself; even admire yourself. Imagine spending all your time with a friend about whom you feel this way - and this friend is you!

Tending the Inner Garden

I wrote earlier that this process need not be difficult, tedious, and certainly does not require the services of a therapist. It does, however, entail something akin to gardening. When you plant a seed in the garden of your house, or in a pot on your terrace, you know very well, that in order for it to grow into a strong oak tree, an elegant palm that sways in the wind, a rose, a geranium, sweet-smelling rosemary, or a flowering perfumed hibiscus, it first needs soil (preferably rich), water, sunlight, care, and constancy. The inner garden is no different. 
Enriching the Soil

Possibly the soil in which you are beginning your process of growth is not particularly fertile at this time. You know that out there, in the external world, you can create a compost heap in order to enrich the soil you use for your plants. In the internal world you can begin to feed your soil (your mind, heart, and soul), with reading, listening and viewing material that will convert into great compost, rather than trashing your garden with leftover junk food and plastic waste (which on the inner level might be likened to the mass media shows and books or magazines that many people like to read and view as a steady diet, and which has no hope of ever converting into rich soil).

Tend your garden well and watch the lush process of your own inner growth that will begin to take place. Only you can do this for yourself, and only you can make the decision to begin it now.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Monday, October 20, 2014

Two Quick Tips for Dealing with Stress


The ubiquity of stress in our modern world justifies the need for yet another article about the subject. Psychology - just as marketing - notes that until an individual has seen a new piece of information at least nine times, he/she may not absorb and assimilate it, and therefore, of course, won't apply it. And if you don't apply it, it won't help you when you are stressed. You may be aware of the fact that you've read numerous items about what to do, but that you still don't really know what that is, when push comes to shove.

These simple, user-friendly methods work quickly. The more you employ them, the more they help, and the greater their power to help you grows:
  1. Breathe. Breathe in through the nose to the count of 5 (alternatively, if you can, do it to the count of 8). Without allowing any of the air now in your lungs to escape, count to 10 (alternatively to 16). Now, very slowly, and from your pursed mouth, let small amounts of air leave your lungs to the count of 20 (alternatively 32). Repeat at least five times to get the benefit of feeling less stressed. Oxygen - and its effects on your organism - is why it works.
  2. Focus on Beauty. Wherever you are when you begin to feel stress of any kind, look for something beautiful in your immediate environment. Preferably something in nature. Perhaps you see something outside of the window (home, office, or car), or perhaps something in the place in which you find yourself. A plant, an exquisite rug or painting, a sculpture, shafts of sunlight in the room, a shapely lamp, etc. Now focus on the beauty of that. Really focus. Just for a few moments. Then allow yourself to feel gratitude for that beautiful thing in your life just now. Repeat immediately with four more beautiful things (or alternate the ones you have already focused on, if you can't see five different ones), to get the benefit of feeling less stressed. Being present - and in the now (where you are not thinking about the past or future thing that is stressing you) - is why it works.
The more you apply these simple tips, the stronger they become, so that they work much more quickly for you each subsequent time. You may need to repeat them frequently throughout the course of your day at first, but you will notice that after some time of practice, the frequent repetitions become less and less necessary.

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Is Growing Part of Your Plan?


Our culture of 'instant' everything is teaching many - or causing many - to believe that the main purpose in their lives is to 'become' someone. We speak much of success, of reaching goals, of being well-known, famous, etc., but we seem to pay very little attention to growing.

How does a small seed become an oak tree? How does another kind of small seed become a tomato plant? How does a human embryo become a baby and then a child and then an adult? Obviously all grow. And what does the process of this kind of growth entail? Have you ever seen a child pulling at a budding plant to make it 'grow' faster and merely ripping it out of the ground? Or perhaps you've seen one of those YouTube videos showing how someone tries to help a butterfly emerge from the chrysalis and cause it to shrivel and die, as opposed to emerging in its own time in order to express it metamorphosized glory.

Perhaps if we paid a bit more attention to our own process of growth, as opposed to 'getting' somewhere, or 'becoming' someone, or 'achieving' something, we would - ironically - get there more quickly, or in much better shape. Our growth is as crucial to our development as sentient beings, as the time in the chrysalis is crucial to the emerging butterfly. Why not focus on that - on our growth - as opposed to focusing on the end result? Do you really think the caterpillar is focusing on becoming a butterfly? It's focusing on its process of growth and transformation, where transformation is the operative word. And do you really think that while the chrysalis is in formation it is focusing on becoming a butterfly? It's focusing on its process of growth and metamorphosis, where metamorphosis is the operative word. Let's learn from the caterpillar. Let's focus on growth, transformation and metamorphosis, at least as much as we focus on our end result. We might be amazed with the results.

It was Goethe who said: Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow, and it was Bach who said: What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

Image: Giant Sequoia Trees
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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Can Life Be Easier If You Decide to Make It So?


Life truly is difficult.

Things tend to go wrong for me.

I'm just not so lucky.

Nobody every got anywhere without very hard work, and even then, they might not make it.

Do you recognize some of these thoughts? If not exactly the same, then other, similar ones? Are you convinced that life is hard?

Try to imagine the number of times a day you tell yourself that. The number of times a day, as you go about whatever it is you do, that you figuratively nod your head, thinking: yep, this is just another thing that proves how tough things are for me.

Or maybe you try to escape from those awful thoughts, and go about your day, your week, your year by pretending it is not so, only to fall into a hole because you forgot to watch out for those deep, black holes that life prepares for us and because of that you started remembering once again how hard things are.

Either way ... life keeps showing you over and over again that things are hard.

But I posit that there is another way. And by taking me up on my suggestions, the actual events of your life won't change - at least not at first - but what will change is how you see those same events. And then, because you take a new stance, bit by bit, other things will begin to change, and then perhaps, you will begin to notice that life is not so hard after all.

Let's take, for example, a morning that started badly. Your alarm clock didn't work (it's electric, with no fall-back battery safeguard, and the electricity went off during the night for 45 minutes). Then, as you raced out the door with no breakfast and a shower that might not have been one, you bang your knee on the door jam, and it's the same knee that started giving you trouble several weeks ago when you slipped and fell on the freshly waxed floor at work. As you get into the car, you realize you told yourself last night while driving home, that you would get gas this morning, that you would get up 15 minutes earlier to have time to do so, but you forgot. So now you need to waste more time doing that, and have not a hope in hell to get to work on time.

Doesn't that prove that life is hard?

OK...so let's take another look. Nothing is different, all you're going to do is decide to look at if from another angle. You are going to find something positive in the events of this day.

Perhaps you will decide that you should have an alarm clock that's not dependent on electricity. (OK, I agree, that's not particularly mind-shattering). Or perhaps you'll decide that you should not leave for tomorrow what you can do today (don't leave the empty tank to be filled tomorrow on the way to work). That one is already a bit more different. In actual fact, if you put that one into action on a consistent basis (not putting off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today, or said in other words, planning more efficiently), you may find that much in your life will change.

Now take it a step further. Make the decision to look at all those things that make life appear to be so hard from the point of view that there is something in there of value for you, something that can take you further down the road to a better, more growth-oriented life. Make the decision that no matter what happens to you, no matter what the circumstance, you will do your utmost to find something in it that can take you a step further, that can move you into a more rich and satisfying life. There is always something new to learn and understand and those events that heretofore have been classified by you as the proof that life is consistently hard, can now become the events that show you the direction in which you can grow.

Isn't growing - at least in part - what your life is all about? So that you can become more of what you truly are capable of being, and more of what you truly are?

Image: Japanese Garden, Washington Park, Portland, Oregon


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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now out globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy

Friday, October 10, 2014

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin - New Book by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch



Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love and the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).

Emotional unavailability and neediness do not tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative, generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. And again, the same could be said about the needy man.

This book dissects the causes of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.

My new book: Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is now available on all global Amazon sites in print and Kindle, as well as though major online booksellers

Download an Excerpt:

To download an excerpt of the book (including Chapter Listing), or to see quotes from the contents, visit www.GabriellaKortsch.com

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Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My new book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is out globally in print, and the Kindle version will be available by October 8th.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Find more free articles from my monthly newsletters as well as more information about my work at Advanced Personal Therapy