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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Growing Green Grass


The fact that we so often delude ourselves into believing that the grass is indeed greener on the other side of the fence has much to do with not putting mind, body, and soul into growing green grass on our side of the fence.

If you're continuously looking over there, if you're continuously thinking about how wonderful that other grass is, you're not only losing focus with respect to your grass, but you're also losing much of your vital energy, because the desire for something over there drains you. Think about it. When you focus on something you truly want to bring into being, or when you focus on a goal that means something to you on levels that are not merely fame, riches, or what others might think if you achieve that goal, then you are suffused with a very special - almost electric - kind of energy. When, however, you focus on what you don't have, or have not achieved, but you're seeing it over there with the kind of desire that is a kissing cousin to envy, then you lose energy due to the 'wanting'.

Another point to consider is that as long as you focus on the grass over there, you are allowing yourself to remain in your comfort zone. Only by growing green grass on your side of the fence, do you challenge yourself to move beyond those narrow confines of the thresholds of your comfort zone. And we all know that the greatest growth takes place on the other side of those thresholds - not here inside the safety of the status quo.

Clearly, to advance in life, we have to want things we don't have, or have not yet achieved. I may be a teenager and yet know that I want an advanced education due to the profession I want. But that kind of wanting is very different from wanting something that someone else has, such as wanting the designer label party dress your best friend just purchased. Let's call the one kind of wanting 'aiming for' and the other kind of wanting 'desiring'. You do see the difference in the kind of energy the two 'wants' give you, right? One is good for you, the other is not.

But if each time you notice yourself focusing on the 'desiring' kind of want, you were to deliberately and consciously pull yourself away from those thoughts and feelings, and choose instead to focus on 'aiming for' whatever means something to you, even if you are still at the most elementary level of getting there, then you will - perhaps not immediately, but very soon - notice that a whole other kind of energy fills you.

So focus on growing green grass. Focus on you and what you can do. Focus on what your life is worth in a way that will leave some kind of mark. The mark may simply be in your family, or friends and neighbours, or it may be a much more far-reaching mark, but whatever it is, that is your grass, and the greener you grow it, the more you will have given of yourself, and in the process you will have given yourself much joy and satisfaction.


Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)


My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a subject that affects so very many people. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).
                
Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.
                
Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.
                
This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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