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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Monday, June 30, 2014

The You and the Not You


Who are you when you are not you? In order to discover that, let's first establish who you are. If I asked you, you might tell me that you are a doctor, a man, 37 years old, married, two children, that you have your own practice, and that you vacation in the mountains in the winter and on the beach in the summer. You might also tell me your political, religious, sexual, sports, and culinary preferences. You might talk to me about your hobbies, and you might tell me about your extended family and friends.

If we were to delve a bit deeper, you might also tell me about the state of your finances and investments, you might give me some of your opinions in those tricky conversational matters of politics, religion, and the state of the economy. You might make it very clear on which side of the fence you stand.

So now let's look at the not you. If all of the above - that has just described you - is finite, because one day all of it: all of it, will no longer be here, then the not you is infinite. It is eternal. It is not related to anything that will ever end, because the not you is endless.

So we could also say the the not you is never those fleeting thoughts that occupy most of your mental space. Nor is it the kilo (or 10 kilos) that you would like to trim off your body. Nor is it the feelings and moods you have that often overwhelm you. Nor is it your worries, not even your health concerns.

The not you might be the part of you that observes all of the above as it happens, and whispers to you: why do you let it bother you so much? Why do you allow your well-being to depend on all of that? The not you might be the part that observes - when you are attempting to show someone how wrong they are in their political-religious-financial opinions, and convince them of your opinions - and whispers to you: why is it so important to you to be right? 

The not you might be the part that notices ever-greater nudges of intuition, acknowledges ever-greater interest in honing yourself in many ways, and notices an ever-greater realization that we truly are all one, and furthermore notices an ever-greater inclination to feel love and compassion for all by recognizing the divine in all of us. 

So perhaps you will agree with me that the not you is, in fact, the true you. And the true you has absolutely nothing to do with the way you described yourself as illustrated in the first paragraphs above. Perhaps you will also agree that the true you is, in fact, this eternal, loving, compassionate, and divine being. And if that is so, then doesn't it make more sense to nurture that one at least as much as you nurture the one in the description above?

Image Credit: Igor Morski


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Growing Green Grass


The fact that we so often delude ourselves into believing that the grass is indeed greener on the other side of the fence has much to do with not putting mind, body, and soul into growing green grass on our side of the fence.

If you're continuously looking over there, if you're continuously thinking about how wonderful that other grass is, you're not only losing focus with respect to your grass, but you're also losing much of your vital energy, because the desire for something over there drains you. Think about it. When you focus on something you truly want to bring into being, or when you focus on a goal that means something to you on levels that are not merely fame, riches, or what others might think if you achieve that goal, then you are suffused with a very special - almost electric - kind of energy. When, however, you focus on what you don't have, or have not achieved, but you're seeing it over there with the kind of desire that is a kissing cousin to envy, then you lose energy due to the 'wanting'.

Another point to consider is that as long as you focus on the grass over there, you are allowing yourself to remain in your comfort zone. Only by growing green grass on your side of the fence, do you challenge yourself to move beyond those narrow confines of the thresholds of your comfort zone. And we all know that the greatest growth takes place on the other side of those thresholds - not here inside the safety of the status quo.

Clearly, to advance in life, we have to want things we don't have, or have not yet achieved. I may be a teenager and yet know that I want an advanced education due to the profession I want. But that kind of wanting is very different from wanting something that someone else has, such as wanting the designer label party dress your best friend just purchased. Let's call the one kind of wanting 'aiming for' and the other kind of wanting 'desiring'. You do see the difference in the kind of energy the two 'wants' give you, right? One is good for you, the other is not.

But if each time you notice yourself focusing on the 'desiring' kind of want, you were to deliberately and consciously pull yourself away from those thoughts and feelings, and choose instead to focus on 'aiming for' whatever means something to you, even if you are still at the most elementary level of getting there, then you will - perhaps not immediately, but very soon - notice that a whole other kind of energy fills you.

So focus on growing green grass. Focus on you and what you can do. Focus on what your life is worth in a way that will leave some kind of mark. The mark may simply be in your family, or friends and neighbours, or it may be a much more far-reaching mark, but whatever it is, that is your grass, and the greener you grow it, the more you will have given of yourself, and in the process you will have given yourself much joy and satisfaction.


Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)


My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a subject that affects so very many people. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).
                
Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.
                
Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.
                
This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Thanking Your Past


Who would you be right now in your life, were it not for your past? Do you realize how much it has been your past that has shaped the person you have become? And I'm not referring to whether or not you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Your childhood may have been idyllic, it may have been lackluster, it may have even been abusive. You may have been stimulated to grow and progress no matter what, or you may have been fed a gooey pablum that stipulated that life owes you a living. However it was, you made decisions about it and moved forward thanks to those decisions.

If you enjoy reading biographical and autobiographical material about well-known people, you will know there are countless numbers of them who recount a tale of deprivation or hardship on some level, and who nevertheless managed to move themselves into a life worth living. Oprah, Wayne Dyer, Nelson Mandela, Charlie Chaplin, and Temple Grandin are just some of the people that have popped into my head since starting to write this post. They all became who they ultimately are/were, at least in part, thanks to that difficult background they were born into, or had to live out in the early part of their life. Does that mean that everyone who has a difficult background overcomes it in such a spectacular way?

No. There is an element of resilience in those that do, an element of desire, push, passion, as well as willingness to do what it takes to move in that direction, but generally their resilience rises to the surface precisely because of the difficulties into which those people were born. Sometimes they have had a 'helper', a mentor, but just as often such a helper or mentor was simply a neighbour, or uncle, or teacher who believed in them when no one else did, or when all the others were only focused on shuffling one foot ahead of the other. You might also have noted that those who extricated themselves from those difficult beginnings, did so by growing very strong - or, said another way - grew very strong because they decided they had to extricate themselves. How often do you hear them talking about how hard things were for them? They may use anecdotes about their past in order to illustrate a process through which they went, but they won't talk about the past from a victim position, or in order to garner any sympathy from anyone. They have grown to like and admire themselves for what they have accomplished - not so much because wealth and/or fame is involved (although I use such commonly recognized names in order to easily illustrate what I'm talking about, while recognizing that many, many others who are not well-known, nevertheless have done just as much), but because they take pride in who they have become on levels that have nothing to do with wealth and fame.

So think about it: who are you now compared to who you were all those years ago? How much of it has to do with that past of yours, that caused you to push and prod yourself in order to overcome and grow beyond those circumstances? Recognizing that your past played a role in allowing you to become the person you are today signifies that you understand that had your past not been what it was, you might never have become this person. And in this understanding, perhaps you can help others - who are just beginning their own path in life - also realize that even if their environment is not optimal, it might just be what is needed to move them into a place that will make them proud.


Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Always Love - No Matter What


It's so easy to love those close to us, the ones that treat us well, and the ones who cause us no suffering. The matter begins to get complicated when you try to love those who treat you badly, who denigrate you, who let you know in some fashion that they don't care for you, and who make you suffer, not to mention all those who are barely on your radar, but they are there. The people you pass on the street, the beggar, the homeless person, the dirty person, the one who sing-songs to him or herself while walking down the street, the bad drivers, the inconsiderate drivers and parkers, and a long list of etceteras.

How on earth can you love all of these people? 

Let's assume you are interested in spiritual growth. Let's further assume you want to evolve as much as you possibly can. You already participate in many activities that move you in that direction. Perhaps you are a member of some kind of spiritual community that gathers at regular intervals to discuss and meditate. Perhaps you practice mindfulness when you are on your own. Perhaps you spend time reading books on these subjects, listening to seminars, viewing videos, and attending retreats or conferences geared in this direction. But maybe, just maybe, you aren't actually working on the matter of loving everyone.

It's actually a huge matter in your life - my life - everyone's life. It's not a matter that should be shelved for a better day. It's not a matter to be ignored because - at least initially - it doesn't give you (me) the uplifting vibe that you get by sitting in communion with your fellow seekers.

So how do you get there? I'm not anywhere near there myself, so all I can tell you is how I go about attempting to strengthen this muscle inside of me. I intend it. So when that idiot does something that almost creates an accident, or when that inconsiderate person left his/her double-parked locking mine into place, or when that dirty person asks me for money, or when the rude customer service agent from the electricity company interrupts me for the third time, and so on, I breathe in, mentally offer a 'bless you', and breathe out, telling myself that while I am not yet quite sure how to love this person, I intend it, and while I am intending it, I will try to send them love - perhaps only love from my rational mind, and not yet my heart, but if I repeat this process day after day, with all the wonderful challenges life offers me in order to be able to firm up that love muscle, I will get there.

Because here's the thing: if I don't do this, I will never be able to get very far on that road to spiritual enlightenment: to higher consciousness. It's as though - by not doing this, no matter how many other spiritually-connected things I do, and no matter how much I meditate - I am forever remaining at some kind of kindergarten level in the spiritual arena. Begin by intending and you will get there.

Image: Mount Pulag, Philippines by Rolen Facundo

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.

Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin (to be released Summer 2014)


My new book (due out summer 2014), deals with a very important subject. Neediness and emotional unavailability are two sides of the same coin because both are based on a lack of self love, a fear of love, and a fear of the hurt that love can engender due to the vulnerability that being in love generally evokes. A person may live out one side of the coin (neediness) in several relationships and then - in a new relationship - may find him or herself living out the other side of the coin (emotional unavailability).
                Neither of these tend to be deliberate because there is never anything consciously deliberate about the way a defense mechanism arises in childhood. A man who refuses to commit should not blithely be judged as being manipulative or callous although on the surface he may very well appear to be so. Furthermore, the older he gets, the more of a history of this nature he acquires, and hence the more those who sit in judgement reach the conclusion that they are right. The same could, of course, be said about the emotionally unavailable woman. Another case in point: a woman whose neediness may appear as emotionally manipulative (of her partner, parents, children, or friends), generally also does not behave this way in a deliberate fashion. The same could be said about the needy man.
                Nevertheless some individuals, who have used these defense mechanisms over many years, have observed their effect on others, and so the emotionally unavailable man or woman may have noticed that this behavior magically attracts a certain kind of partner. Likewise, the needy man or woman will have observed that certain individuals always seem to do their bidding, if the neediness in expressed in emotionally manipulative ways.
                This book dissects the causes and solutions of these defense mechanisms, paving the road - for those who wish to change the inner landscape of their emotional constraints - to live and be able to love more freely.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

How Do You Feel About the Facts of Your Life?


We all have a past. Some better than others, and some downright awful, even atrocious. And that past might be your childhood, or later on, or anything in between. The circumstances surrounding you from your birth to this point are the facts of your life. And of course that includes all the people in your life, both the ones you didn't choose, such as your parents and siblings, classmates, teachers, neighbors, and bosses, as well as the ones you did choose, such as your friends and love partners, as well as business partners.

And all those facts of your life are something you generally have an opinion about. How bad it was, how unfair it was, how intolerable it was, how unreasonable it was, how painful it was, how unjust, frightening, denigrating, and impossible it was. These opinions of yours have shaped how you think about your past - potentially very frequently. You may spend a large percentage of your time thinking about your past, wishing you could change it, wishing you could do something, find something, know something that would make it right. And by the way, your past includes not only what happened after you were born, and in later years, but also right up to a few moments ago.

Is it not a fact that you ate certain specific foods for breakfast today? Is it not a fact that you have a specific number of siblings? Is it not a fact that you lived on a specific street when you were 10 years old? And is it not a fact that you adopted a cat when you turned 12? How about the fact that you learned how to write when you were four or five? Or the fact that you were kissed (and kissed back) the first time at your 15th birthday party? How do you feel about those facts? Isn't it true that because they are basically just facts, you have no particular feeling about them, at least not of the kind that makes you want to go back to those facts and revisit them with a great deal of frequency? 

Now: please change those facts. I'd like you to learn how to write at age three, and to have that first kiss at age 16. Oh, and please make sure that the street you lived on when you were 10 is called Water Street.

Ridiculous, right? Isn't it true that it is absolutely impossible to do any of that because you can't change those facts of your life? It is exactly the same regarding those parents you wish you had never had, or that abusive uncle that showed up when you were 13, or the way you were bullied in your first year of high school, or the way your wife cheated on you right after you bought the new house she wanted. It's exactly the same about every single incident of your life that took place in the past. You can not change any of it, no matter how much you may wish to, no matter how much time you spend thinking about it, mulling over it, feeling the pain it caused, and regretting the day you were born.

The difference between the facts of our lives such as the street where we lived as children, and the facts that involve pain or suffering or hurt or any other negative emotion you care to mention, is that we tend to hang on to that latter kind of facts, as said, hoping we can change them. But we can't. As long as you attempt to do this with your thoughts and feelings, you are not making the most of your life. In fact, you are robbing yourself of huge chunks of it because you use your time here and now to think and feel about times that are long gone and that will never change.

The sooner you make the decision that you can let that go, in the same way you let other things from your past go, the sooner you will have a space of inner freedom and boundless energy available to you that before was taken up by the past. This is a choice you can make.

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Hepburn, Princess Di, Jolie, the Critics & Humanitarianism


Star-gazing and celebrity-worship do not form part of my daily routine. But since the late 80's I watched (and much admired her for it) Audrey Hepburn being a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF and traveling to all those countries whose plight began to receive some increased international attention thanks to her presence there. She was in her 50's at that point, and interestingly, had not succumbed to the peer pressure of plastic surgery. On a talk show with Larry King in 1991 or so, in which the topic was precisely her humanitarian work and the terrible difficulties the people in all those countries were faced with on a daily basis, a caller asked her why she had not had her face lifted ... I myself was in my 30's, fresh-skinned, and young, and yet I could not get over the caller's lack of comprehension about what was truly important.

Around that same time, in 1989, my admiration had grown around Princess Di for the handshake she gave at age 28 - and the entire world gave a collective gasp - to a person suffering from AIDS. In one fell swoop the stigma attached to the disease began to crumble. What a woman, I thought. In 1997, in her late 30's, she began her work against the use of landmines, and again, my admiration for her grew. She was much criticized for meddling in matters that were not of her incumbency, as well as for her lifestyle. Again, I wonder if those who criticized managed to leave a mark such as hers. Isn't that what counts?


Which brings me to Angelina Jolie. Her LC movies were fun, but as a person I felt she left a lot to be desired, until she appeared on my radar at the World Economic Forum in Davos when she was about 29 in 2005 or so, and very regularly since then in order to push human rights. Her work on behalf of human rights over more than a decade, and now recently, with William Hague, UK Foreign Secretary, at the London summit on ending sexual violence during war, speaks for itself. Yet ... if you look at the press there is - once again - so much criticism. Of her lifestyle, of the potential fact that she does this to garner even more publicity, of her double mastectomy, of all those children, and so on ad nauseam. She's carried out field trips to countless countries, including Cambodia, Ivory Coast, Sri Lanka and Sudan. She said that keeping near the spotlight was crucial to publicizing humanitarian needs, and that her ambassadorial role with the UN High Commissioner for Refugees was "more fulfilling and more interesting to me" than films. "And I know it's more important." 


So to all the critics of these three women - all too human, yet so involved in their causes - I say: Using their status to garner attention for corners of the world that have long been forgotten, or to shed light on atrocities that no one wants to look at or discuss, while putting themselves in situations that so many, who have access to such status, do not do, or do little or nothing, is a fine - even noble - use of their celebrity-hood. Would that we would all do the same in our own little corners ... is this not what living a life worth living is all about?
      
Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:


                         
                   
                                           

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Walking A Bit Further Every Day


The photo really says it all: we will only move forward in our lives if we walk a bit further every day - if we move beyond the place we were at the day before. But how is that done? Don't most of us basically stay in the same situation we found ourselves in unless life forces us forward by throwing stones, boulders or mountains in our path? Does that mean that we only move forward if we run into challenges and problems?

I believe that as long as we are not truly aware of ourselves and our lives, truly conscious of what we do day in and day out, the main method of moving forward (once we're done with classical socialization processes such as growing up and academic preparation), is via the above-mentioned challenges and problems.

If, however, conscious awareness becomes part of our daily lives, we are much more able to choose to move in that forward direction of our own volition, and may then, on occasion, perhaps even avoid some of the stones, boulders and mountains - or find that they are much easier to traverse than they might have been.

Consider this:
  • by proactively changing your eating habits, adding daily exercise to your régime, and deliberately taking some time each day to de-stress and relax, you may prevent a life-threatening illness further down the road such as cancer, which, once you received the diagnosis, would then in all likelihood, cause you to make some of the above changes. However, if you don't make those changes until you are forced to, it may be too late, or you may not get nearly the leverage out of them that you would have, had you implemented them earlier on, before they became a necessity.
  • by proactively learning how to use software related to your profession, even though you are currently not expected to use it in your particular job, you may prevent being down-sized further down the road, which, once that particular problem occurred, would then in all likelihood, cause you to make some of the above changes. However, if you don't make those changes until you are forced to, it may be too late, or you may not get nearly the leverage out of them that you would have, had you implemented them earlier on, before they became a necessity.
  • by proactively pursuing an interest throughout your life (or more than one), while you are an active parent, while you are working, and going through the early and middle years of your life, so that, when your children leave the nest, and when you eventually retire, you will have a richness in your life that will serve you well. Such richness will prevent boredom, depression and pain, among many other possible scenarios that would then in all likelihood, force you into considering the possibility of making some of the above changes. However, if you don't make those changes until you are forced to, it may be too late, or you may not get nearly the leverage out of them that you would have, had you implemented them earlier on, before they became a necessity.
So isn't it clearly much better to walk a bit further every day under your own steam, as opposed to waiting for the stone, boulder or mountain to appear in your path that would then potentially force you to move forward in some fashion? What are you doing today to walk a bit further in your life?

***************

Also visit my book website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may download excerpts or read quotations from any of my books. My latest book Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin is available globally on Amazon in print & Kindle. You can also obtain it (or any of my other books) via Barnes & Noble.

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (English)


Bücher von Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Deutsch) ... JETZT bei Amazon (Taschenbuch oder E-Book) erhaltbar 
DEINE SEELE UND DU
  

Angefangen mit Rewiring the Soul - auf Deutsch: Deine Seele und Du, jetzt weltweit erhaltbar als Taschenbuch oder Kindle E-Book (Blog hier), werden auch meine anderen Bücher in Zukunft auf Deutsch bei Amazon erhaltbar sein.

Libros por Gabriella Kortsch (español) ... próximamente en Amazon en versión bolsillo y E-Libro para Kindle


Empezando con Rewiring the Soul - en español: Reconectar con el Alma (blog aquí), se podrán encontrar mis libros en español por todo el mundo próximamente en Amazon.

Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

My blog posts are also featured on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest & you can find me on Instagram 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

So You Think It's Love


It's so easy to mistake our own needs for love when we find someone who somehow fits nicely into the gap those needs have created in us.

If you're not good at loving yourself, and someone comes along who appears to love you, you will generally (gladly and happily) jump to the nearly foregone conclusion that this is the real thing - this is love in capital letters, in other words, it means that you are in love. If you're hesitant in public situations and someone comes along who appears to be strong in those situations, and furthermore appears to be falling in love with you, again, you will generally (gladly and happily) jump to the nearly foregone conclusion that this is the real thing - this is love in capital letters, in other words, it means that you are in love.

If your mother or father was slightly cool or rejecting or simply not good at expressing his/her emotions towards you, and if you missed out on being 'loved' in that more overt way you saw other children getting hugs and kisses, then if someone comes along who reminds a part of you (subliminally) of one of them in that slightly cool way, but who is also very attractive in many other ways, and who furthermore appears to be interested in you, then you will generally (gladly and happily) jump to the nearly foregone conclusion that this is the real thing - this is love in capital letters, in other words, it means that you are in love.

This is merely a small selection of the many scenarios that can occur when you fall in love, and particularly when you either repeat patterns (via projections) that originated in earlier parts of your life, or when you go looking for that which you have not yet found and fulfilled in yourself in the other - in the potential partner.

In all of these cases you assume that your feelings indicate that you are in love - and in some ways, indeed you are! But much of it has to do with having fallen in love with yourself through the eyes of the other, rather than truly loving the other, and that may often lead to heartache and pain.

This is an extensive topic and certainly not one that can be covered in a brief post, but one thing is clear: as long as you are not aware of yourself, your patterns, and of your unfulfilled needs that have probably arisen via those patterns, and as long as you go about your life looking for what is missing in you in the other (as opposed to finding it in yourself), you will find it difficult to find lasting relationships filled with healthy independence, harmony, and love.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

Friday, June 6, 2014

What Are the Others Going to Do?


Is it possible to be truly free if you're worrying about what the other person is doing or going to do? Worrying about others' behavior and acts implies that you are constrained in your own deeds and thoughts. You may not be willing to do what feels right to you because others aren't doing it. You may not be willing to say what feels right to you because others aren't saying it.

You could think of this as living your life in a strait jacket ... but no one has made you wear it. The reasons you do wear it have much more to do with, as said, your fears and worries of what others might think if you do things differently than they do. Where does such a fear come from? You may have expressed opinions when you were younger, or done things differently than the other children or teens when you were younger that made them laugh at you, scoff you, or gossip about you, even ostracize you, thus occasioning this fear. Conversely, you might have observed how they did this to those that did not conform to whatever the modus operandi of the group was, and hence you built up enough trepidation to not want to cross those invisible lines that would mean you were no longer accepted. Peer pressure - at any age - can be a powerful motivator to conform. All we have to do is look at fashion - particularly for women. Who uses those tiny handbags that were so much in fashion a decade or more ago, that you hung from your shoulder and basically stored in your armpit, and that held no more than a mobile, a lipstick and a small wallet? Who wears jackets with shoulder pads? Who wears round-toed shoes? And that's only fashion. When it comes to expressing opinions or standing up to someone about issues - if by so doing you risk strange looks or comments - is even harder.

I've always been a loner, even when I was a little girl, in part because I never liked doing what everyone was doing, and so in some fashion I grew habituated to being looked at as somebody different, and it never really bothered me. But I've had many friends who had these feelings of constriction about doing what they really wanted to do and did not do so for the worries or fears I've mentioned, nor do they - on many occasions - say what they really want for the same reasons.

Is this not an abominable way to live your life? Does it make you feel good to stomp down on your inner desire to speak or act in a given way (or wear, for that matter, clothes that are no longer in fashion), just because someone might criticize it, or decide that it is not right in their eyes? Would you agree that a part of it has to do with unhealthy boundaries? But these would be your poor boundaries, and it would be your responsibility to do something about them. Think of it like this: do you really want your life to be populated by people who do not have the inner wherewithal to allow you freedom; to grant you the same freedom that you grant them? Maybe it's time to change the people with whom you surround yourself.


Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books. 

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.