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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Loving Yourself First


This almost seems old hat. Overdone. Been there, done that.

The topic, I mean. Loving yourself first.

But it isn't.

You know why? Because so many people are still not doing it. Most of us have still not learned that old adage that if we don't love ourselves first, we can't really love anyone else.

Know why?

Because you'll be loving them for all the wrong reasons. Oh, you might believe that you love them, and in some fashion you do, but for all the wrong reasons.

Here are some of them:
  • I'm so happy when I'm with him/her
  • He/she makes me feel so good
  • I need him/her so much! (in this instance, the person actually believes that needing someone is proof that they love them) Whew!
  • I feel so secure when I'm with him/her
  • I've never felt like this before ... only he/she can give me this feeling
  • When we're not together, I feel so lost
  • When we're not together, I feel like a part of me is missing
  • When we're not together, I just don't really enjoy doing things
Are you beginning to get my drift? All of the above indicate someone who is in love due to something he/she is getting from the beloved. That is the reason they are in love. Obviously this is not a conscious - almost mercenary - process. It happens. We realize we feel better around the beloved. We begin to define why we feel better around that person. Hence statements such as the above. And then - presto - we believe we are in love.

All is not lost, however. In other words, if you are still with me, this doesn't mean you now should give up your relationship in order to find yourself and discover how to love yourself first.

But it does mean, that now you should begin to realize that these reasons that make you believe you are in love are in fact pointing to the bits of you that you have not yet filled for yourself. So you go looking to fulfill them through another.

By beginning to fill them yourself, you begin the process of self love and self respect and self esteem and self acknowledgement. This is not selfishness or egotistical behavior.

Doing this, waking up about yourself, will lead you to a place where - when you then love - you will love as you were never able to as long as you needed the other for the fulfillment of your own needs.

Also see my new website: www.gabriellakortsch.com where you may read quotations or download excerpts from any of my books.   

Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:
 
Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Click here to download an excerpt. 

From the Introduction: It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

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