WELCOME TO THIS BLOG


"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Give Your Partner the Benefit of the Doubt


After some years together, brightness and brilliance are no longer so easily found in many relationships. Understanding is harder to come by when your partner is less than what you expect, as is compassion, kindness, and being forgiving. None of that is new and all of us who have been in relationships know this from personal experience.

Assuming you have healthy boundaries (see articles about this subject here), and assuming you have a decent measure of self-love (see articles about this subject here), and are therefore not tolerating a partner's unacceptable behavior because you find it too difficult to speak up about it, then perhaps it's time to look at giving your partner the benefit of the doubt.

In my book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership I paint a scenario of a couple attending a cocktail party. She notices that he is laughing and having a wonderful time with a beautiful woman in a corner of the room. She feels the demon jealousy rise in her. But - and this is a very important but - she is aware of herself. She has worked (at least somewhat) on resolving unhealthy boundary issues and has also been working on learning how to love herself (also see my new book The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self). Furthermore, as stated, she has been practicing being aware (find much information about this on my blogs or newsletter articles). Therefore, when she sees this mode of behavior on her partner's behalf, the first thing she'll do when she feels the jealousy arise, is to go to a space of inner peace before any kind of reaction, and then ask herself whether this is a pattern of typical behavior in her partner, or whether it's more of a one-time situation. She is giving her partner the benefit of the doubt. Of course, later, when they are driving home, she may want some more information and will request it in a courteous way, but long before she decides on any other kind of reaction, she will go the route of giving her partner the benefit of the doubt.

Let's say, however, that the partner's behavior forms part of a pattern that has already created innumerable issues for this couple. In that case, the woman in this scenario needs to look at her boundary and self-love issues, as well as her awareness of self, and she needs to do this long before she begins to blame anything on her partner, because this is about her reactions and not his behavior, as despicable as it may be. But, as they say, that's a very different story, and you can read more about this situation in The Tao of Spiritual Partnership.

Choose to be aware, choose to manage your boundaries, and choose to care for yourself enough that you begin to love yourself.


Books by Dr. Gabriella Kortsch:

Rewiring the Soul

Click here to download the first chapter.
To see the Table of Contents click here

Reviews From the Back Cover:

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre

"Rewiring the Soul is one the best introductions to the spiritual life I've ever read. Not esoteric but real-world & practical. The implications are profound." Peter Shepherd; Founder Trans4mind.com; author: Daring To Be Yourself 

"The human being's directory to the soul. A breakthrough for those seeking practical assistance, those of a more mystical bent & every soul awaiting discovery." Toni Petrinovich, Ph.D.; author: The Call: Awakening the Angelic Human

The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come."
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of: Ecstasy is a New Frequency

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 

Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 


The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self 


My new book: The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self, is just out. Here is a brief excerpt from the Introduction:

It is your right to live a life of love. It is your right to understand that loving yourself first is not a selfish way of behavior, but one that allows you to live that life of love. However, it's highly probable that you never got the instruction manual explaining exactly how to accomplish this. Possibly your family - and it may have been a loving family - considered loving the self an act of selfishness. Or perhaps the members of your family simply didn't practice loving the self, and of course, what you didn't see - what was not shown to you - while you were growing up, meant that you just didn't learn how to apply it to yourself. The closer you are able to move towards loving yourself, the closer you will be to living a life of love - quite independently of whether you are in a love relationship or not. A life of love can be lived with or without a partnership, because a life of love implies that you know that it all begins with you by loving the self. The more clearly you understand how to love yourself, the more clearly you will see that it is very hard - if not impossible - to love others in ways that are unrelated to fulfilling any of your needs. Loving yourself first is - for so many of us - one of the hardest things we will ever learn how to do. But know this: the benefits affect you in every particle of your being - body, mind, and soul - and are greater than you will ever be able to imagine.


Note: If you are wondering why this blog is now only appearing on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I also post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul so named for my first book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.

No comments:

Post a Comment