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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Pain of Abandonment, Loneliness & Fear


When you feel the pain of abandonment, the pain of loneliness, the pain of fear, or any kind of pain, there's no doubt that you feel your life isn't worth much. You can't imagine being out of the pain, and you feel you can't go much more into the blackness.

All that is true and understandable, but there are other ways of looking at it, no matter what the reason for your pain is.

I taped a TV show recently about happiness, a topic I talk and write about a lot. Doesn't have much to do with what today's topic here for this post is.

But it does.

The reason the pain and the happiness are connected, is because you have a way of going from the former to the latter. You can create a bridge that can take you from pain ... if not to happiness, then at least to a place where you can see you life as a good one again.

How?

Some writers call it pivoting, or swiveling. Remember how you used to stand on your heels as a child? And then you would pivot about 180 degrees, so that at the end of the movement, you were facing a totally different direction? First you were looking at your house, then you pivoted, and then you were looking at the street.

This is the kind of inner movement that can take place when you need to put yourself in a place where you aren't hurting so much. Let's not pretend that there aren't times where you need to go through pain in order to get through to the other side. But in the same way a quadri-plegic is not always a quadri-plegic, when you are in pain, there is no reason for you to be in pain all the time.

(The reason a quadri-plegic is not always one, is because there are times when he is laughing, and has forgotten about his state, when he is eating and is not thinking about it, when he is conversing, or watching a movie, etc., and not consciously a quadri-plegic. Likewise, a person with terminal cancer, is not always a person with terminal cancer, because there are moments when other thoughts and activities take over the mind and feelings, despite the inevitability of the impending end.)

So what I'm suggesting here is that you begin to learn how to swivel. When something is not good, go from that place in your mind and feelings to another place. That might be imagining something that gives you pleasure or joy, or it might be remembering something that once gave you pleasure or joy. However you do it, it will change - for a time - your energetic frequency. And in the place of your new-found frequency, you can feel better.

Is that disloyalty? Disloyalty to your worries, your problem, your sense of abandonment, even your sense of eternal loss in the case of someone's death? Of course not. Are you being disloyal to your wound when you dress it, when you put salve on it, when you set the broken bones, when you stitch the cut flesh?

Comparisons of this nature offend some people. That's why I suggest you might want to consider some out-of-the-box thinking about this. It may be a challenge to do so, it may stretch you, but do you truly believe it is wrong to try to make yourself feel better when something is causing you pain or problems?

One final thought: don't you believe that once you feel better, you will find it just a bit harder to go back to the deep place of pain? And is that not good? Doesn't that mean the bone is knitting, the wound is healing?



For much more about understanding what your pain may be telling you about yourself and how awareness about this can help you find love, and move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here


From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency



REWIRING THE SOUL


For more about understanding the path towards life meaning and the inner quest, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre


Note: If you are wondering why this blog only appears on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul, so named for my earlier book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.


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