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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Learning How To React


Scenario 1: Much drama. John has just exchanged Mary for a younger model. Mary is - obviously - in pain. But in her pain, she decides to broadcast the situation to her friends and family. The story is repeated countless times, and a few select of these friends and family are treated to daily up-dates of the latest dramatic developments. Mary continues to feel pain - in part because she continues to repeat the story  or parts of the story (and thus relives it again and again) to many others, but she also feels justified in raging about John, simply because it is true that he has caused this pain. At least that is one way of looking at it. Many of those that she speaks to about this, agree with her.

Scenario 2: Much drama. John has just exchanged Mary for a younger model. As she explores her pain gingerly, much like we might explore a painful molar with our tongue, Mary begins a soothing self-dialogue. The purpose of her dialogue is to not only soothe and calm herself (and certainly not to pretend that what happened didn't just happen), but to bring herself to a place of inner equilibrium or balance. She know that if she achieves that, she will be able to see what just happened with John with very different eyes, than if she remains in the initial place of pain his announcement and imminent departure from their home took her to. She also knows that by so doing she is strengthening the neural pathways in her pre-frontal cortex (that she has begun working on in the past with lesser issues), that connect to the ease with which she can regain a state of inner well-being, no matter what the circumstances. Mary knows that how poorly or how well she manages to get through this place of great pain depend much more on her than on how badly she has been treated.

The second version of Mary has her life in her hands in ways that the first Mary can't even begin to dream about. The second Mary has a high probability of living a good life, simply because she has chosen to focus on her well-being in all ways by assuming responsibility for it at all times. She has chosen one of the roads that self-love opens up to us: the road of caring for the self in healthy ways that lead to inner peace, harmony and eventually joy. She know that what others do to us is truly only interesting and important depending on how we react to their words or acts.

Image: Seljalandsfoss Falls, Iceland




For much more about love and about choosing your reactions, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 



For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

1 comment:

  1. Another way of seeing Scenario #1: A grief shared is a grief halved and quarter and eighthed.....When we tell our story in a way of letting go, hopefully we make room, eventually, for another story. Yes, there are some who get invested in the payoff of playing a victim, the negative possibility of telling one story. It is when we are truely heard by someone that our story is validated in that way that we can begin to let go, to transform that story with others help.

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