WELCOME TO THIS BLOG


"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Greatest Regret


Dyer says don't die with your music still in you.

Imagine, I read when I was much younger, sitting on a rocker when you're quite old, thinking about all the things you never did and about all the people you never loved. I remember my blood ran cold at the image. Imagine, it went on, regretting not having done so many of the things you would have liked to have done, but that you didn't because they scared you, or because you didn't know the outcome, or because you thought there was a chance you might fail, or that others would look at you in pity because you had not been successful. I felt lead in the pit of my stomach as I read that. Imagine, I read, sitting on that rocker and going over all the things you never did because you told yourself that you had no time, or that they were silly for someone of your age or station in life, or whatever, to do. I shivered. Imagine, I read, sitting in that rocker and feeling all that regret.

And now I ask you, who read this: imagine not only that - because at least in that scenario you are sitting in a rocker and physically comfortable despite your inner pain - but imagine that you are lying in bed, your body riddled with a terminal disease that will not let you go, or sitting in a wheelchair, quadriplegic, with no more possibility of movement, and you have those same regrets.

Don't let that happen. Don't die regretting everything you did not do. Venture now. Make the most of this life that you have to live. Love now. Dare now. Live now.



For much more about living now and loving yourself in a healthy way, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 





For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Creating a Practice


This is not a post about me encouraging you to start meditating or doing yoga, or anything along those lines. This is a post to encourage you to start a practice of eradicating from your life that which no longer serves you.

How do you eradicate? You create a practice of being aware of that one thing you are working on. Assuming you wish to be less judgmental, you will need to invoke awareness as often as you can when you drift into the judgmental mindset. You'll have to set up the intention inside of you to be aware at those times, in order to stop yourself in mid-game. The more often you stop yourself, the more quickly this practice that you have created will stop the habit you wish to eradicate from having strength in your life.

And that could be any of the following:
  • criticizing others
  • judging others
  • not being kind as often as you could be
  • being less impatient
  • being less quick to anger
  • spending less time in the past, dwelling on past pain
Now let's extrapolate and apply just one of these specifically to your relationship with your partner:
  • instead of continually looking for all his/her faults, and then criticizing them, look instead for all those wonderful things, that are still generally there, you just don't see them, because you are so focused on the negative
Can you see how such a practice could radically change the tenor of your relationship? Are you willing to try?



For much more about living your relationship and what you do more consciously and how awareness about this can help you find love, and move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here


From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency



REWIRING THE SOUL


For more about understanding the path towards life meaning and the inner quest, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre


Note: If you are wondering why this blog only appears on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul, so named for my earlier book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.


Monday, March 25, 2013

Secret Happiness


What is in your heart today? Is it stress? Anger? Worry? Fear? Envy? Hatred? Impatience? Judgement? Criticism? 

Why is it there? No, I'm not interested in hearing what someone did to you, or what life circumstances have created for you. I'm interested in hearing why you have chosen to allow this life-snatching, energy-robbing, and peace-hating emotion into your heart. It's a choice, you know. No matter what your circumstances, at the end of the day it is always you that chooses, whether you are aware of it or not. So the more quickly you become aware of the fact that you have chosen this, and that it has not been imposed on you, the more quickly you can rid your heart of it, and allow happiness in. That is also a choice. It was Paramahansa Yogananda who said: Learn to be secretly happy within your heart in spite of all circumstances.


For much more about happiness and loving yourself in a healthy way, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 





For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Pain of Abandonment, Loneliness & Fear


When you feel the pain of abandonment, the pain of loneliness, the pain of fear, or any kind of pain, there's no doubt that you feel your life isn't worth much. You can't imagine being out of the pain, and you feel you can't go much more into the blackness.

All that is true and understandable, but there are other ways of looking at it, no matter what the reason for your pain is.

I taped a TV show recently about happiness, a topic I talk and write about a lot. Doesn't have much to do with what today's topic here for this post is.

But it does.

The reason the pain and the happiness are connected, is because you have a way of going from the former to the latter. You can create a bridge that can take you from pain ... if not to happiness, then at least to a place where you can see you life as a good one again.

How?

Some writers call it pivoting, or swiveling. Remember how you used to stand on your heels as a child? And then you would pivot about 180 degrees, so that at the end of the movement, you were facing a totally different direction? First you were looking at your house, then you pivoted, and then you were looking at the street.

This is the kind of inner movement that can take place when you need to put yourself in a place where you aren't hurting so much. Let's not pretend that there aren't times where you need to go through pain in order to get through to the other side. But in the same way a quadri-plegic is not always a quadri-plegic, when you are in pain, there is no reason for you to be in pain all the time.

(The reason a quadri-plegic is not always one, is because there are times when he is laughing, and has forgotten about his state, when he is eating and is not thinking about it, when he is conversing, or watching a movie, etc., and not consciously a quadri-plegic. Likewise, a person with terminal cancer, is not always a person with terminal cancer, because there are moments when other thoughts and activities take over the mind and feelings, despite the inevitability of the impending end.)

So what I'm suggesting here is that you begin to learn how to swivel. When something is not good, go from that place in your mind and feelings to another place. That might be imagining something that gives you pleasure or joy, or it might be remembering something that once gave you pleasure or joy. However you do it, it will change - for a time - your energetic frequency. And in the place of your new-found frequency, you can feel better.

Is that disloyalty? Disloyalty to your worries, your problem, your sense of abandonment, even your sense of eternal loss in the case of someone's death? Of course not. Are you being disloyal to your wound when you dress it, when you put salve on it, when you set the broken bones, when you stitch the cut flesh?

Comparisons of this nature offend some people. That's why I suggest you might want to consider some out-of-the-box thinking about this. It may be a challenge to do so, it may stretch you, but do you truly believe it is wrong to try to make yourself feel better when something is causing you pain or problems?

One final thought: don't you believe that once you feel better, you will find it just a bit harder to go back to the deep place of pain? And is that not good? Doesn't that mean the bone is knitting, the wound is healing?



For much more about understanding what your pain may be telling you about yourself and how awareness about this can help you find love, and move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here


From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency



REWIRING THE SOUL


For more about understanding the path towards life meaning and the inner quest, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre


Note: If you are wondering why this blog only appears on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul, so named for my earlier book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Living Love


It starts with you. Love yourself first. Not selfishly, but in a healthy and life-giving way. Remember airline personnel and their admonition to parents traveling with children, should the use of oxygen masks become necessary: put your own mask on first. I think we all understand why. And in real life it's the same: love yourself first, care for yourself first (in that healthy way mentioned earlier) so that you may better love and care for others.

If you put yourself at the end, i.e. don't take time to center yourself, neglect doing some healthy physical activity, don't take time to prepare reasonably healthy meals, and don't take time to allow yourself to relax, to mention only a few, how will you be able to love and serve others? It's really as simple as that.

It starts with you. Love and honor yourself and you will find that loving and honoring all will be easier and easier. Live love in your daily life with every simple activity you undertake. Love yourself first and know that it's absolutely the best you can do for all those whose lives you touch. We are all one - but for that to be true in your own life, love must be at the center of it.


For much more about love and loving yourself in a healthy way, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 



For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Giving Up on the Real Thing


How much does your need and desire for security hold you from allowing yourself to have the 'real' thing? Or how much of the 'real' thing have you given up in the past in order to ensure that you have guarantees and security in that arena of your life?

I meant to make this only about love, but it also happens in our professions: in what we choose to do with our lives, and in so many other, perhaps more secondary arenas, such as the friends we choose (or the people we choose to spend time with, which may or may not be the same thing), and the daily activities in which we participate.

Let's look at love first: did you fear the vulnerability you felt in an early relationship (one of those that knocks the socks off of you) and decide that feeling secure was better? This is not a question of right or wrong, but one of discerning where growth takes place, and one of recognizing that frequently when we choose security we give up on discovery. 

We can apply the same thing to what we choose to do with our lives. Is there a real purpose in yours? Or did you set it (the real purpose that you felt as an inner excitement whenever you considered it) aside because no one would have understood the direction in which you were taking your life and that would have meant rejection or disapproval, or perhaps even ridicule or pity? These are not easy questions, but I was reminded of this once again as I recently re-read some passages from the excellent book Diane Esbon edited of Joseph Campbell's works titled Reflections of the Art of Living. In it, he writes: the hero's journey always begins with the call. One way or another, a guide must come to say, "Look, you're in Sleepy Land. Wake. Come on a trip. There's a whole aspect of your consciousness, your being, that's not been touched. So you're at home here? Well, there's not enough of you there." And so it starts. And a bit further down, Campbell continues: The call is to leave a certain social situation, move into your own loneliness and find the jewel, the center that's impossible to find when you're socially engaged. You are thrown off-center, and when you feel off-center, it's time to go. This is the departure when the hero feels something has been lost and goes to find it. You are to cross the threshold into new life. It's a dangerous adventure, because you are moving out of the sphere of knowledge of you and your community.

And as stated earlier, this can apply not only to your 'calling' but to all spheres of your life. So: are you going out there for the real thing, the one that speaks to your soul, and the one that will move you forward to another level, or are you giving up on it for the sake of guarantees, safety, and security?



For much more about understanding what the fear of vulnerability in relationships may be telling you about yourself and how awareness about this can help you find love, and move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here


From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency



REWIRING THE SOUL


For more about understanding the path towards life meaning and the inner quest, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre


Note: If you are wondering why this blog only appears on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul, so named for my earlier book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Does Love Imply Sacrifice?


This question has plagued humanity for millennia. And it should be of no surprise to anyone that the arena where it most often plays out is in that of relationships: with our partners, with our parents, and with our children.

Have you ever heard someone say: 'If you really loved me, you would do ___________ for me'? Or perhaps this is what is said: 'When you love someone it means you're willing to give up your own desires'. And another frequently heard version might be: 'If you weren't so selfish, you would do _______________ for me.'

Let's examine this more closely:
  • is it a sacrifice (implied by love) if I care for my child with Down's Syndrome?
  • is it a sacrifice if I care for my parent with Alzheimer's?
  • is it a sacrifice if I care for my partner who has been in an accident and is now a quadriplegic?
  • is it a sacrifice to cook meals for the family every day?
  • is it a sacrifice to spend money you had tucked away for a special treat for yourself in order to pay for music lessons you can scarcely afford for your - apparently - gifted child?
  • is it a sacrifice (implied by love) to financially care for a child - now an adult - who refuses to get a job?
  • is it a sacrifice (implied by love) to have dinner with a parent every night (and not have a life of your own) because your parent is lonely but refuses to get out and meet new people?
  • is it a sacrifice (implied by love) to put up with a partner's lack of motivation and low mood (due to job difficulties, for example) over a long period of time because your partner refuses to seek help?
  • is is a sacrifice (implied by love) to cook separate dishes for everyone in the family because they all like different foods?
  • is it a sacrifice (implied by love) to spend money you can scarcely afford for an expenisve brand-name pair of sneakers for your child (as opposed to a more ordinary pair)?
You probably agree with me that in the first set of examples love does imply sacrifice, but it is a sacrifice that is given gladly and generously (we might also think of a Mother Teresa-type sacrifice with the poor and sick in India, born of love for humanity), and that although it may frequently be very hard to continue, it is a sacrifice, as said, gladly given.

But in the second set of examples, the sacrifice that is made is given - in part perhaps due to love - but in great part as well due to poor boundaries on the part of the person who makes the sacrifice, and therein lies the great fallacy and incorrect understanding implied in the questions asked in the second paragraph above. 

Our culture has often created a false or wrong idea of sacrifice in our minds which then creates guilt, if we don't walk down the road another expects us to traverse ... and of course what is happening - at least in part - is that because we have not learned to love ourselves, those poor boundaries we may have will lead us to do things for others or to comply with their requests and demands in ways that are ultimately damaging to ourselves. 

Think about it (and I use this example frequently with clients): imagine being in a plane with two small children. The barometric pressure has fallen and oxygen masks are now dangling in front of all of you, but you are the only adult. One of the children says: 'put mine on me first, please ... I'm so scared', or something of the sort. Of course you wouldn't comply with your child (or at least I hope you wouldn't)! Not because you don't love your child, but precisely because you do. So you put your own mask on first, in the full knowledge that if your child should lose consciousness due to a lack of oxygen, it will only be for a moment, and then you'll get that oxygen mask on him/her, and all will be well. But if you comply with the frightened request, you may lose consciousness and then your children are on their own ... love yourself first - not from a selfish or egotistical point of view, but from a healthy one.


For much more about love and about choosing your reactions, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 



For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Build Anyway


I've often heard people say - especially those who have been burned once or twice - that they are unwilling to invest time in building up a new relationship unless they get some guarantees that it will work out.

As member of a book club that meets once a month for dinner and lively conversation, this month it's my turn to host the dinner and the book I chose is Isabel Allende's Inés of My Soul, a novel about the conquest of Chile carried out in part by Pedro de Valdivia and Inés Suarez, a woman of humble birth from Extremadura in Spain. The grueling difficulties these people and all those at their side went through in order to reach their goal: the colonization of a new world - brought those people I mentioned above, who are unwilling to spend time on building up a new relationship to mind.

Whether we agree with how the colonization process (by any country) took place or not, is not the issue here. We could take the pioneers in North America as another example. Europeans that decided to conquer and settle in North and South America not only had their work cut out for them in founding cities, building homes, planting fields, and raising livestock, but they had their hearts ripped out of them - figuratively speaking - on the frequent occasions that indigenous populations fought back and destroyed all that they had accomplished.

Again, whether we agree with what Europeans did in the Americas is not the point. What is at issue is the fact that these conquerors and colonizers got up the next day to rebuild and replant. What if they had said - as the people unwilling to invest time in new relationships without solid guarantees - that they would only rebuild and replant if they had guarantees that they would not be under attack again?

And here comes what for me is the most poignant and important aspect of it all - by rebuilding and replanting much was learned. Perhaps how to build better, more solidly, in order that the churches, homes and stables could not be pulled down or burned so easily. Perhaps they learned how to better protect their livestock, or perhaps they learned how to create better understanding and cooperation with the indigenous populations in order that there be greater peace.

By extension, we could apply the same principle to our relationships: if we are unwilling to invest time in a new one - especially if we have been burned in the past - how will we ever have the opportunity to learn what it means to have a better relationship? Can we not view the process as one of learning instead of assuming it has to be one of being happy and fulfilled? Being that - happy and fulfilled - in your relationships is obviously a goal and hopefully you will achieve it, but isn't the learning process just as important? It was Mother Teresa who said: What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

Image: La Patagonia at the border between Chile & Argentina 





For much more about building healthy relationships and how awareness about this can help you find love, and move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership in paperback format. (The Kindle version is available here)

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here


From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author (among others) of Time is an Illusion and Ecstasy is a New Frequency



REWIRING THE SOUL


For more about understanding the self and inner growth in your relationships, also have a look at my earlier book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

Reviews From the Back Cover:

A revelation of insight into the foundations of human suffering & transcendence. It not only lays out essential steps for inner freedom & joy but illuminates the way to true human potential. Dr. Kortsch is a spiritual master for our time. Paul Rademacher, Executive Director, The Monroe Institute; author: A Spiritual Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe

"The masterwork of a profoundly gifted healer of the soul. Dazzling, challenging, wondrously useful." Peggy Rubin, Director, Center for Sacred Theatre, Ashland, Oregon; author: To Be and How To Be, Transforming Your Life Through Sacred Theatre


Note: If you are wondering why this blog only appears on alternate days (excluding Sat/Sun), it is because I post on my other blog on the others days. That other blog is Rewiring the Soul, so named for my earlier book. Click here to visit the blog and/or to sign up for the feed.


Thursday, March 7, 2013

Learning How To React


Scenario 1: Much drama. John has just exchanged Mary for a younger model. Mary is - obviously - in pain. But in her pain, she decides to broadcast the situation to her friends and family. The story is repeated countless times, and a few select of these friends and family are treated to daily up-dates of the latest dramatic developments. Mary continues to feel pain - in part because she continues to repeat the story  or parts of the story (and thus relives it again and again) to many others, but she also feels justified in raging about John, simply because it is true that he has caused this pain. At least that is one way of looking at it. Many of those that she speaks to about this, agree with her.

Scenario 2: Much drama. John has just exchanged Mary for a younger model. As she explores her pain gingerly, much like we might explore a painful molar with our tongue, Mary begins a soothing self-dialogue. The purpose of her dialogue is to not only soothe and calm herself (and certainly not to pretend that what happened didn't just happen), but to bring herself to a place of inner equilibrium or balance. She know that if she achieves that, she will be able to see what just happened with John with very different eyes, than if she remains in the initial place of pain his announcement and imminent departure from their home took her to. She also knows that by so doing she is strengthening the neural pathways in her pre-frontal cortex (that she has begun working on in the past with lesser issues), that connect to the ease with which she can regain a state of inner well-being, no matter what the circumstances. Mary knows that how poorly or how well she manages to get through this place of great pain depend much more on her than on how badly she has been treated.

The second version of Mary has her life in her hands in ways that the first Mary can't even begin to dream about. The second Mary has a high probability of living a good life, simply because she has chosen to focus on her well-being in all ways by assuming responsibility for it at all times. She has chosen one of the roads that self-love opens up to us: the road of caring for the self in healthy ways that lead to inner peace, harmony and eventually joy. She know that what others do to us is truly only interesting and important depending on how we react to their words or acts.

Image: Seljalandsfoss Falls, Iceland




For much more about love and about choosing your reactions, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 



For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.