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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

"Eloquent and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion." Robert Schwartz, Author: Your Soul's Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Containing the Pain



Pain is one of the biggest motivators for people to come and see someone like myself. Pain can be, as most of us know, devastating. Pain can not be "thought" away. Pain has a time, and, just like grief, which is a version of pain, it can have stages and a process that you have to live through before you can get to the other side.

So this article is not about talking yourself out of the pain. Or about pretending it's not there by distracting yourself. Or about minimizing it. Or about making you think you should be stalwart and strong, and grin and bear it, and get out to the other end as quickly and staunchly as possible.

Rather, this article is about coming to an understanding that precisely when you are suffering and in pain, is when you need to be able to care for yourself enough, and love yourself enough, to keep your inner energetic frequency in the best place possible, in order to be able to survive this descent into pain as healthily as possible.

Most of us, when pain comes knocking, tend to lose whatever grasp we have on awareness and fall into the trap of allowing our thoughts to take over. And so we re-visit the place of the pain over and over again. See also Tolle's writing about the pain body and Chris Griscom's work on the emotional body, as I have written about elsewhere:
But if we somehow manage to stay aware, we are in a position to be able to observe our thoughts, as opposed to being tortured by them about whatever it is that is causing the pain in our life. And when we are able to observe our thoughts, we are at the beginning of the place where we can choose our thoughts. And if we can choose our thoughts, we can choose to focus elsewhere. Not to distract ourselves from the pain, but to take good care of ourselves. As we would if we had a fever. Or a cut. We would take aspirin, or bandage the cut, or wash it with an antiseptic. We would not carry on with the fever, syaing to ourselves that we did not have a choice. And we would not leave the cut infected, telling ourselves that there was no way to do anything about it. We would take care of it. And so we need to begin to learn to take care of ourselves when we are in pain, by recognizing that it is a choice.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. Marcus Aurelius

It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus

Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it. Unknown

Must you continue to be your own cross? No matter which way God leads you, you change everything into bitterness by constantly brooding over everything. For the love of God, replace all this self-scrutiny with a pure and simple glance at God's goodness. Saint Jeanne Chantal

Pain is never permanent. Teresa of Avila

Love does not cause suffering: what causes it is the sense of ownership, which is love's opposite. Antoine de Saint-Exupery

To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life. Oscar Wilde

A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering. Buddha

Pain in life is inevitable but suffering is not. Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. First Noble Truth (Buddhism)

Photo Credit: AKARAKINGDOMS



For much more about choosing your reactions to pain, and how awareness about this can help you move towards spiritual partnership and inner peace, see my new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now available in print and Kindle formats.

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution.

This ground-breaking book addresses:

• relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life
• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership
• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationship

It is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships. 


Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership 

“All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." 
Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author 

“Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” 
Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born 

"The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth." 
William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body 



For more about focusing on making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle).

To download the first chapter, click here
To see the Table of Contents click here

From the Description on Amazon:

Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be 'no', because to answer a truthful 'yes' is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life.

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