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"All humans seek the illusive touch of another's Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true "tao" of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come." Chris Griscom, Spiritual Leader, Author

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Monday, May 21, 2012

Fear of Emotional Expression: Leaving Your Comfort Zone



Who doesn’t know someone who seems to be afraid of showing their emotions; who may be very caring and giving on other levels, but who just can’t manage any real “feeling” words and actions?

Often these are men and women who may hide behind the cover of continual work commitments, who have a multitude of friends (generally of their own sex) with whom they insist on spending a great deal of time, or who simply always maintain a veneer of reserve, even with their closest and dearest.

So you can never really get close to them. They simply don’t let you.

And it’s almost impossible to have a conversation of any emotional depth; it may feel like struggling to grasp a slippery, wet fish if you try talking about emotions with them.

If you are feeling a vaguely uncomfortable twisting in your solar plexus, or a prickly tremor of warmth running through your chest and heart region, or your face heating ever so slightly, you might recognize yourself as one of the people that remain in the emotional comfort zone.

Any comfort zone exists in order to maintain the status quo. That is, you keep it up so that different areas of your life remain under control, that nothing changes, and that you feel secure. As you leave your emotional comfort zone, you start getting twinges of fear because you are entering unknown territory where you run risks, most particularly of becoming vulnerable and getting hurt.

What is actually happening is that by braving out into the unknown territory, by feeling the trepidation and fear, you are granted an invaluable opportunity to discover new facets of yourself, to enrich yourself, and to stretch and grow beyond your present limits. In this same way Columbus discovered the New World, man stepped on the moon, and you can also begin to express emotionally.

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